Dreams are rum things, some of mine are. This one for example was particularly rum –
The other night I woke up round about 4am after dreaming about the BBC. For some reason, the Beeb had responded to a radical group pushing for equal representation of people who speak with a very pronounced lisp. As part of its diversity commitment, BBC News took on a news reader with a particularly exaggerated lisp –
Good evening, here ith the newth. In a major thpeech today, Thir Keir Thtarmer ith to outline hith planth to rethet Britith politicth in rethponth to…
That’s as far as the dream went, which is just as well I reckon. Very odd, but I blame an increasingly weird mainstream media and political class, it creates a strange, dreamlike atmosphere.
8 comments:
Nobody expecths the Thpanith Inquithion.
W..wha...what a...ab.. abbou.....a bout..a..all.....th....thu... st..stu...stuttettettererer........s?
No that wash jusht shilly , ash well ash taking the pish.
They should try someone with rhotacism, and get them to explain how Sir Keir has a cabinet full of witches and high wanking Labour gwandees.
They could do the poor sod a favour by rewriting the script. Instead of Thir Keir Thtarmer they could use Two-Tier Kier. That would be an improvement, eh?
Two-Tier Kier will kill every Uke, kill every Uke, kill every Uke, ...
DJ - Our chief weapon ith thurprithe...fear and thurprithe...
Doonhamer - Starmer doesn't stutter, but he seems to go blank occasionally, as if he's reloading the next batch of verbiage.
Sam - yes, it would be good to hear about people such as Wachel Weeves and Steve Weed.
dearieme - he seems to be stuck with "Two-Tier Kier" or "2TK", which is quite an achievement for a socialist politician.
Did you by any chance, consciously or unconsciously, catch Radio 4’s current Book at Bedtime which is read by an actress with a decidedly noticeable lisp?
I gave up listening after the opening sentence: ‘Bethany Mellmoth hasn’t really noticed the nature of the person sitting beside her on the journey from her place of work to her home in the southwest of the city…’
It must be some kind of equal opportunities thing. (At least it’s not as irritating as the serial about the Fukushima disaster narrated by an actress who kept saying ‘nucular’.)
Harrison Bergeron, here we come! Given what his governemnt seem intent on doing to education, I have a horrible feeling Keir Starmer is already in the process of appointing a Handicapper General to ensure that nobody is smarter, stronger or better-looking than anybody else.
Macheath - I haven't listened to Radio 4 for years, probably not since my commuting days, but I remember Harrison Bergeron very well. One of those stories which makes a lasting impression, perhaps because it is both bonkers and horribly plausible in its portrayal of crazy political aspirations.
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