Sunday, 14 August 2022

Parking lottery

Walking back after a stroll around town, Mrs H and I saw a young woman in a battered old car trying to park by the side of the road. Her car was rather like my father's before he finally gave up driving. Dents and marks at all four corners.

She was attempting to fit her car into a tight space between two other cars, a space I certainly wouldn't have tackled. Leaning out of the window, she inched backwards and forwards and somehow it was possible to tell she wouldn't manage it. The space was just too tight.

As we continued up the road we heard the inevitable bump. The driver climbed out of her car to inspect the damage, something she must be quite familiar with by now.

Old Trousers

I think I may have discovered a new natural law. Not a fundamental law such as the second law of thermodynamics, but still an natural law. It concerns old trousers.

As we know, when trousers become too dilapidated to wear while out shopping, in mixed company or even in the pub, they tend to be downgraded to gardening or DIY trousers. However, gardening and DIY trousers are hardly ever unfit for gardening or DIY, so they tend to accumulate in the bottom of the wardrobe.

Admittedly charity collections may have made some difference to the rate at which old trousers accumulate, but this is a rate change rather than a phenomenon which invalidates the basic law. Of course, strictly speaking this isn't a new discovery of an important natural law because an enormous number of people have observed it over many years.

It possibly goes back to Neolithic times when hunting trousers were made from animal hides. When these trousers were worn out or irretrievably gashed by mammoth tusks, they may have been downgraded to spear-wipers. In which case, Neolithic spear-wipers will have accumulated via what is essentially the same natural law.


Saturday, 13 August 2022

Missing Water



No crocodile and sausages

Here we are on our summer holiday by the seaside after a 4:30am start and an easy journey. As we know, it’s so sunny that the Met Office has issued an Extreme Heat Warning, yet the hordes on the beach seemed to be entirely unaware of the dangers. Most weren’t even wearing a coat or hat. Wait until the Met Office Enforcement officers arrive.

Moving on to other matters, the seaside reminds me of Punch and Judy shows and inevitably this reminds me of politics and attempts to choose a Prime Minister we didn’t vote for. That's the way to do it. 

The whole political game seems to have evolved into a kind of weirdly implausible show where Punch and Judy pretend to fight over the next batch of regulations. No crocodile and sausages though. At least that would be entertaining.

Friday, 12 August 2022

Easy to forget


It's too easy to drift away from these things and forget how sinister it all was, and how easily led so many of us are. Easy to forget clapping the NHS and the flags and slogans. 

Surely the days will soon be used up

World Elephant Day 2022: History, significance and facts

World Elephant Day is celebrated on 12 August every year to raise awareness about the plight of elephants all over the world. World Elephant Day tries to highlight why these animals should be protected and what laws and measures can be enacted to ensure their survival. There are many risks that elephants face, from illegal ivory trading to increased human-animal conflict. Their habitats are also threatened by human activities. You can celebrate World Elephant Day by sharing solutions for preventing the exploitation of these majestic creatures, and by learning more about them. You can also support the non-profit organisations who work towards protecting elephants.

I've nothing against elephants, but does this mean we can't recycle August 12th as World Mongoose Day or World Sobriety Day or even World Veracity Day? 

If August 12th is lost to elephants forever, we'll only ever have 365 excitingly special days of this kind. World Veracity Day could be February 29th perhaps. Seems appropriate somehow.

Thursday, 11 August 2022

A question of scale

We're whizzing off for a holiday on the south coast this weekend. Packing begins tomorrow, but according to the BBC weather forecast, we could see the maximum daily temperature fall by ten degrees over a couple of days as all this sunshine clears off. Packing the right clothes could be a headache.

Ten degrees is a large drop in temperature over a couple of days, but we'll just have to adjust. Certainly a bigger temperature change than even the most dramatic climate forecasts for this century...

oh hang on...