The other day found Mrs H and I sitting in a café not far from a group of people with identity lanyards and earnest faces obviously engrossed in some kind of work meeting.
We caught occasional phrases such as ‘that would be the cherry on the cake’ and ‘it’s where we end up, not how we get there’ and ‘we need to firm up on that’. Mrs H and I agreed that we felt far, far removed from their world and weren’t sorry to be far, far removed from it.
That too familiar meeting which could never be informal even though it was meant to be an informal café meeting, it left a certain impression of something which should have been edgier.
Somebody should have thrust aside their coffee, burst out of the iron fetters of corporate diffidence, climbed to their feet and demanded to know why the blue blazes they were sitting there emitting corporate platitudes at each other.
But nobody did that.
But nobody did that.
9 comments:
The first rule of corporate platitudes is that corporate platitudes are reality.
We once sat at an outdoor table outside an Oxford cafe. The next table was occupied by junior managers from Oxfam, and a more senior chap. Two things:
(i) The youngsters sucked up to the older chap in nauseating style. Neither of us had ever experienced the like.
(ii) After the brown-nosing, conversation was dominated by their disparaging of the volunteers who staffed their shops. Yup, the people who received salaries were dismissing the good souls who gave their time free. That was when we decided never again to donate to a national charity.
"a group of people with identity lanyards and earnest faces obviously engrossed in some kind of work meeting.
We caught occasional phrases such as ‘that would be the cherry on the cake’ and ‘it’s where we end up, not how we get there’ and ‘we need to firm up on that’"
They might have been employees of the cafe. Cherries don't put themselves on cakes, you know.
I was reading this morning that a local Journalist has been thrown out of a cafe and banned from the others in the chain as he was buying a coffee and then sitting for hours tapping away on his computer. He was told if you want to use it as an office, then pay some rent. He is most upset for some reason.
A few years ago, every commercial issue was a 'situation'!
So Tom, who in Reggie Perrin, claimed that he was a 'Person Person', might well have understood a ludicrous 'situation situation'...
Did these idiots mention 'low-hanging fruit' at all?
DJ - and the second rule is that the name has changed to 'corporate reality' and the third rule is...
dearieme - we never donate to national charities these days, not for a reason as depressing as your Oxford cafe experience, but big charities have obviously become businesses where the salaried side comes first.
Sam - 'and how we get there isn't important as long as those cherries are on those cakes when our customers arrive for their coffee.'
John - we see a lot of people on laptops using cafes as offices. We've never seen anyone thrown out yet, but many cafes put USB charging points near tables so they must be encouraging it. Maybe they think it creates a certain image.
Scrobs - no 'low hanging fruit' but I bet one of them would have described themselves as a 'Person Person' if it had been suggested to them.
"...[why did they not] demand to know why the blue blazes they were sitting there emitting corporate platitudes at each other...."
Because in today's big-company world (and even in that from which I retired a short seven years ago) that sort of indpependence of thought gets you first sidelined, and then fired.
Peter - attitudes to dissent were more relaxed in my day, but by the time I retired 17 years ago it was becoming more risky.
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