Friday, 2 August 2024
People best avoided
The other day Mrs H and I were chatting with relatives about some of the friendships our grandchildren have formed. Something we all mentioned is how easy it is to spot the more dubious friends our grandkids must learn how to deal with.
Friends, who though young, already take more than they give, are already familiar with the arts of manipulating others to their own advantage. Friends who are likely to prove unreliable or worse.
It’s something we all go through, learning how to spot and avoid dodgy people who are never likely to be anything else. Grandchildren are a reminder of how common the problem is. Eventually all youngsters have to learn how to deal with it as they grow up.
Then carry on learning as adults.
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2 comments:
It seems as if basic patterns are laid down in childhood, and the traits persist into adulthood - presumably to be passed on to the next generation. (My youngest tends to identify 3 types to be aware of: oddbod, dodgy geezer, and wrong 'un.) For most of our history, we have dealt with extended families, clans, and tribes, and being alert to differences meant the difference between belonging and rejection - maybe even life and death. (We see the vestiges of it today when dealing with nationalities. In this country, nobody seems to like Somalis. And there was that old Spitting Image song "I've never met a nice South African". Ghanaians and New Zealanders always seem likeable, though.) But generally speaking it's dissolved as we have become more individualistic, and we tend to see it as "character" or "personality".
It changes, though, so we always have the hope that we ourselves can at least change in a good direction, and pass improvements on to those we leave behind.
Sam - oddbod, dodgy geezer, and wrong 'un sounds about right to me. It's not easy to tell if we've become more individualistic or there is more pressure to be individualistic in ways which aren't individualistic at all, such as the "be who you are" phrases and its many variants.
Maybe the difference between belonging and rejection is too fine a line and the only real option is to choose where we lose our individuality, not so much our ability to set ourselves apart as discrete individuals.
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