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Saturday 21 January 2023

Imagine a cult



A cult called the Thraldomites has been growing rapidly for a number of years. Cult members believe that the Earth has already been invaded by aliens, but unlike many science fiction invaders, these aliens are benign and only mean to help us. 

According to Thraldomite beliefs, the aliens are called Thraldomians, having arrived here some decades ago from a distant planet called Thraldom. This is a planet very similar to ours, orbiting a star much like our sun in dimensions and solar activity.

Thraldomians look and behave exactly like humans, living among us quite inconspicuously while working hard for our ultimate good. These human-like aliens are intent on educating us about what they call the Joy of the Winds and the Joy of the Sun which give us life and energy.

Although the aliens are able to pass themselves off as human, their disguise is not absolutely complete. Thraldomites refuse to discuss this issue and do not even have a name for it, but a considerable amount of covert research suggests that it has something to do with language.

When Thraldomians speak of the Joy of the Winds and the Joy of the Sun, it is remarkably difficult for humans to make sense of the language they use. Even cult members struggle, and usually get over the problem by merely repeating Thraldomian phrases and mantras without understanding them.

Sometimes, Thraldomian language appears to make no sense at all. Thraldomites cannot admit the reality of this issue but it does appear to genuine. Researchers outside the cult have suggested that the Joy of the Winds and the Joy of the Sun are intentional gibberish, being designed by Thraldomians to test the loyalty of cult members.

6 comments:

Sam Vega said...

Apparently, when Thraldomians settle in countries where it is very sunny all year round or very windy day and night, they are much harder to spot. The locals seem to accept them more easily, and the Thraldomites seem altogether more plausible than they do in our gloomy country where the wind doesn't blow all the time. As to why this interesting difference occurs, more research is urgently needed before the Thraldomians get upset and leave.

James Higham said...

Was that one at Davos whining musically at the the microphone one of em?

Doonhamer said...

Had to check.
No, it is not April First.
But nice bit of satire.

A K Haart said...

Sam - I have heard that the Thraldomians have one or two other warnings for us such as poisonous gas cookers and the hazards of being male or female without counselling.

James - bound to have been, although they tend to whine in much the same way.

Doonhamer - good point though, I should have saved it for April 1st.

DiscoveredJoys said...

I expect a schism soon for those who also believe in the Joy of the Tides. SerfsUp.

A K Haart said...

DJ - very good - and we could certainly do with a schism or two among the faithful.