As you may know, previous winners of the Dork of the Year (DotY) award have been
2019 Jo Swinson
2018 The British Electorate
2017 Michael Heseltine
2016 Mark Carney
2015 Ed Miliband
2015 Naomi Klein
All worthy winners, but what about 2020? Unfortunately a certain amount of turmoil has hit the Dork of the Year committee this year. An earlier suggestion that it should be renamed Harry of the Year has been shelved because a number of major Qualifying Dorks have emerged since Prince Harry tried to run off with the award.
Although we have a preliminary list of Qualifying Dorks from which to choose, in these egalitarian times the DotY committee is inclined to treat even high level dorkishness as a team game. In which case the winner is merely appointed as captain of Team Dork. Below we have a preliminary list which may well grow substantially over the next few weeks.
2018 The British Electorate
2017 Michael Heseltine
2016 Mark Carney
2015 Ed Miliband
2015 Naomi Klein
All worthy winners, but what about 2020? Unfortunately a certain amount of turmoil has hit the Dork of the Year committee this year. An earlier suggestion that it should be renamed Harry of the Year has been shelved because a number of major Qualifying Dorks have emerged since Prince Harry tried to run off with the award.
Although we have a preliminary list of Qualifying Dorks from which to choose, in these egalitarian times the DotY committee is inclined to treat even high level dorkishness as a team game. In which case the winner is merely appointed as captain of Team Dork. Below we have a preliminary list which may well grow substantially over the next few weeks.
Prince Harry
Matt Hancock
Boris Johnson
Prime Minister Carrie Symonds
The BBC
Joe Biden
The Vicar of Dibley Keir Starmer
Prince William
Ed Davey if he's still around
12 comments:
Piers Morgan?
You forgot so-called Professor Neil Ferguson, the man who in 2020 has pretty much singlehandedly destroyed the UK economy, and millions of people's lives with it.
A very strong field this year. I think Harry might have passed his peak now; any prince can marry a controlling gold digger and just go limp.
Hancock looks very strong. A convincing blend of rabbit in the headlights and threatening bully, and a superb sprint finish with those tears when they announced that the second person to receive the elixir of life was a faked-up attempt to drum up some patriotism.
I was thinking of Astrophel Sang, but he might, after a good start, have nothing more to offer. And he might be more of a piece of shit than a dork - he's at that age where it's difficult to tell.
Any of the suspended Sky journalists would do well in an average year.
But I have to agree with Sobers. Ferguson didn't just destroy half the world's economy. He fell from grace with extraordinary panache. A brilliant combination of the nastily hypocritical, the ridiculously salacious, and the clownish. Bravo!
I concur with Sobers: Ferguson is the epitome of a government expert, and that's not meant as a compliment.
I'd offer Nicola Sturgeon as a candidate. Despite projecting an air of competence in public she is edging further and further out onto thinner and thinner ice. Political chicanery over allegations of a rival's sexual assaults, COVID figures not reflecting her political actions, and a Scottish border by dictat all unsettle the assumed competence.
Very strong field this year. Multiple prizes are justified.
I think you should have included Whitty & Vallance, that well known double act who may well have done more than Ferguson to destroy the UK economy.
Boris should not be a candidate.
If we actually leave the EU on 1/1/21, he'll be a hero and no dork at all.
otoh if there's another almighty fudge and we remain as some kind of powerless vassal state, forever jumping when the EU says jump, "dork" will be far too weak a word to use of such an utter hopeless failure.
All - thanks for the suggestions. I don't know how I missed off Neil Ferguson - he is such a strong candidate he probably ought to be in both first and second place to reflect that.
I like the Whitty & Vallance double act suggestion - we haven't had a double act before. Nicola Sturgeon should have been on the first list too, she is doing her best to compete with the general madness.
By my reckoning that makes a team of eleven with four on the bench at the moment.
Just read about James Wong saying that gardening is racist!
Surely one of the stupidest statements ever made!
He's a late arrival!
God
It's either his/her/its fault if existing, or all the twats believing this stuff who have aided and abetted the problems of 2020
Scrobs - I've never heard of James Wong but I'll add him to the list.
Ed - but if God gave us free will...
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