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Saturday 28 December 2019

Dork of the Year 2019





Inevitable really, but many thanks to those who passed on a veritable cascade of excellent suggestions - but of course that's the problem as we all know. This year there have been so many top class candidates for Dork of the Year that the committee had to seek regular counselling in the Dog and Tincture. In fact most of them are still at it.

Promising to ignore the result of a democratic referendum and using that wholly undemocratic promise as the rallying cry for a democratic election - well I'm afraid the committee just fell about laughing every time Jo Swinson was mentioned. Committee members falling off their chairs convulsed with mirth is not conducive to orderly procedure but quite understandable.

What else does one say about her when she didn't even manage to hang on to her own seat? In one sense she'll be missed because we need Parliamentary Plimsoll Lines to indicate when the whole place is at risk of sinking under an excessive load of dorkishness. It's an important function but we have plenty of reserves able to do the same job.

So congratulations to Ms Swinson - the award is so very well deserved.

7 comments:

Scrobs. said...

I reckon that the committee have done a sterling job here!

Recounts in 'The Dog and Tincture' must have placed a heavy burden on these splendid people, and I'd expect that many might have not been able to recount anything, after all those hours on Shepherd Neame's 'Old Dorkounter' (8.9% ABV)...

She is a worthy winner, and I expect everyone here will heave a sigh of relief after the suspense!

Graeme said...

A worthy winner indeed. I think that Soapy Jo Maugham left his run-in a bit too late

wiggiatlarge said...

And yet and yet, she has been rewarded with her failure giving her a seat in the Lords
is really an insult to the British public who totally rejected her, but in politics it seems and elsewhere in the public field failure is not recognised.

wiggiatlarge said...

I apologise it should have could be rewarded with a seat in the Lords, and why not it appears that June Sarpong has been awarded an MBE to go with her OBE for what exactly, though I suppose dating David Lammy deserves some sort of award.

A K Haart said...

Scrobs - it was a heavy burden and quite depressing to realise how many dorks there are in public life. Shepherd Neame's 'Old Dorkounter' does help though, as does our local brew 'After Dork' (8.5% ABV).

Graeme - Soapy Jo did leave it a bit late, but what a delightful mess he created for himself. Couldn't happen to a more deserving chap.

Wiggia - dating David Lammy deserves something but he probably thinks dating him is a reward in itself.

wiggiatlarge said...

Not to late I hope with a very worthy contender, the 'almost' forgotten late leader of the Greens and probably as poor a leader of any party ever, stepped down and disappeared with not one item any one can think of to her credit is now, roll of drums, Baroness Natalie Gordon Bennett, just, just how could they reward a total failure and nonentity in that way God help us.

A K Haart said...

Wiggia - yes indeed Baroness Bennett says it all. Rewarded for what? She has done far less than a random selection of people walking round Tesco.