Wednesday, 7 June 2023

Aliens may be rotten drivers


'Non-human spacecrafts' found by US 'for decades'

“Non-human spacecrafts” and the bodies of “pilots” have been recovered by the US government for decades, a former intelligence officer has claimed.

Whistleblower David Charles Grusch, 36, has said the intelligence community has engaged in a “sophisticated disinformation campaign” to hide the discovery of fragments of and whole vehicles.

The recovery of "whole vehicles" rather than wrecks is encouraging. It is possible that aliens are coming here to learn how to drive safely, but sadly they arrive uninstructed and bodies plus wrecked spacecraft are usually the result.


Sam Vega said...

Yeah, now we've got smart motorways they are always crashing. I was first on the scene at one near me and the security services turned up and told me to bugger off. Then two blokes came round and offered me a million quid if I never spoke to anyone about it. I wouldn't post this now if I weren't anonymous.

Scrobs. said...

Most of the bodies end up in government over there, the rest become plumbers and electricians!

Anonymous said...


Doonhamer said...

The US of A is a very small fraction of the Earth's surface.
Are many Aliens landing in Siberia, the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. Never to be seen.
What are they up to?
Lots of Aliens land in Britain, but they have hidden their advanced space craft somewhere. The only clue we have is their orange coverall survival suits. Once they arrive they hide these and melt into the "communitee"

Penseivat said...

With all of the universe to explore, why would alien explorers visit some tiny little bit of mud in the arse end of a miniscule nebula? It's like some wealthy earthly traveller wanting to visit Britain, and concentrating on Middlesbrough. Either they are masochistic or their spatial satnavs are the worst in the whole of everything.
I would suggest there is more chance of Elvis Presley being found alive and well, and stacking trolleys for Tesco in Accrington.

A K Haart said...

Sam - they may have been after your bike as a more reliable form of transport.

Scrobs - yes, Joe Biden is one of them. You can tell when stray Wi-Fi signals interfere with his electronically controlled alien trousers.

Anon - :)

Doonhamer - yes they should be everywhere. I've noticed that Keir Starmer's hair never moves, Rishi Sunak appeared from nowhere and neither seems to be quite the right size.

A K Haart said...

Penseivat - the assumption seems to be that they would be attracted to intelligent life, but they may see the presence of life as impossibly hazardous for them and prefer to explore dead but potentially habitable planets.

dearieme said...

The reason aliens don't come is that the last time one came he got nailed to a cross.

Anonymous said...

AK, What makes you think that we are.intelligent? When you consider the fuck up, that mankind has made over the centuries, intelligent is not the word that I would have chosen. Industrialised may be acceptable, but is not necessarily intelligent. In the great scheme of things, we have been swimming against the tide, making small gains but, in the main scheme of things, doing two steps forward, and one step back. Religion, Nationalisation, Racism, different levels of nationalisation, etc, is epidemic. The experiment of humanism has failed and we may have to start again. Unfortunately, it is the elite of WEF which seems to be setting the barriers. The evil will destroy the world as long as they can rule over the ashes.

A K Haart said...

dearieme - he started something though.

Penseivat - I'd say "intelligent life" in this context is just a convention for some visible aspects of human-like life. Intelligence seems to be one of those slippery ideas which don't work well enough to be used without caveats. As if it is partly optional and not personally advantageous in all circumstances, which is where politicians step in.