In the loop

We've all heard the curiously telling phrase, in the loop, meaning in the know. The ironic aspect of being in the loop is that loops don’t lead anywhere. Moreover, one may have to be out of the loop to see why.

It wouldn’t matter if our loopy elite were not so keen on spending all their time in the loop. Real life lies beyond the loop even if it isn't clearly visible through their steamy windows, so surely Dave, Nick and Ed would benefit from a trip outside every now and then.

If they should ever seek directions to the world beyond the loop, an unlikely eventuality in itself, they won't find anyone who knows. All they ever meet are other loopies who think the loop is the whole universe apart from the bits in the sky Brian Cox goes on about. 

If Dave, Nick and Ed could leave the loop for even a day they might see the problem, but then they would be in some danger of discovering a world beyond the loop and the loop would vanish in a puff of white smoke.

If they ever do visit people outside the loop, loopies turn their visits into strange rituals. Publicity they sometimes call it, although curiously enough the public pay almost no attention to their publicity because it's all going on within the loop.

These events are a nightmare, paradoxical world where loopies are allowed to pretend they have strayed beyond the loop if only they agree to remain within.

It’s easy enough to spot loopies because they have a special loopy language and special loopy behaviour. Here’s an example:-

I am determined to deal with the problem of cut-price alcohol sold by supermarkets.

That one was emitted by Dave. It couldn’t have been Ed, because it’s not his job to deal with anything. It could have been Nick, but he’s generally more furtive and oblique. Not that it matters either way because such matters are controlled by the EU.

The EU is a larger and more important loop than the Westminster loop, which is a kind of interior sub-loop. A route to nowhere within a larger route to the same nowhere.