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Thursday 26 October 2023

Climate change and the shrinking dog mystery



Nobody should be alarmed by this, but small breeds of pet dogs seem to be even smaller than they were only a few years ago. Everyone must have noticed this strange trend because it’s impossible to miss. 

Many super-titchy dogs don’t even look like dogs, more like animated toys on the end of a lead. Today we saw a matching pair resembling small, elongated mop heads. It's remiss of me, but I didn't check to see if the paving behind them had been swept clean. Next time perhaps.

Some dogs are so tiny that a chap is bound to wonder why owners don’t just shove them into a pocket with the car keys. Is it because the little creature might chew the car keys or wallet? I’m sure they aren’t big enough to swallow them.

Cheap pets to feed I suppose, but whatever the answer to the shrinkage issue, it must be a stone cold certainty that the whole thing is directly caused by climate change. Your car and gas central heating boiler are stunting the growth of small dogs, making them ever smaller. 

It's an opportunity for dodgy scientists to grab a few more headlines I’d say. Maybe they have already.

6 comments:

Sam Vega said...

My daughter had a friend with a little "designer dog" bought during lockdown. £4,200 it cost. For that price, I'd want something which was too heavy to carry off and would in addition arrest the would-be thief.

We have a medium small dog, and a big hairy muddy brute that regularly knocks people over with her galumphing good nature. She completely ignores people unless they call her and try to stroke her. Then she locks on...

Fellow dog walker: "What a lovely dog! What breed is she?"
Me: "She's a pointer, but be careful, as she jumps up..."
FDW: "Oh, you needn't worry about that! I'm a real dog person. Come on, girl! Who's a pretty girl den?!"
Me: "No, really..."
FDW (Picking themselves up) "She jumped up!!"

A K Haart said...

Sam - £4,200? Strewth, I didn't realise they are just canine bling.

Scrobs. said...

Our Romanian rescue, Lily has several breeds of terrier, probably a bit of Patterdale, some Corgi, (a chum thinks), in her, and she weighs about 30 lbs. She shows complete non-aggression except for the loudest bark in the village - usually in Senoar O'Blene's ear when she's asleep...

She is also the most loyal companion you could ever have, and her love and devotion is unquestionable - luckily!

But pocket edition she ain't...

I'm sure you're right about dog size, and of course, it's all down to Brexit!

A K Haart said...

Scrobs - that's a point, it could be down to Brexit! Everything now has to be smaller just as Remainers predicted.

Anonymous said...

Old Korean proverb, allegedly:
"If there is not enough meat to go in a sandwich, it can not be called a dog."
Penseivat

A K Haart said...

Penseivat - could be a puppy burger.