Wednesday, 14 April 2021

Aliens are already here

In an earlier post, MrMC suggested that Greta Doomberg could have arrived via Roswell. It is an entirely plausible possibility which raises the issue of more aliens walking among us.

Suppose we imagine a planet called Dearth orbiting a Sun-like star only a few light years from Earth. Planet Dearth has evolved intelligent inhabitants called Doomans and taking this a little further we devise a scenario where the following could easily have happened –

A Dearth civilisation similar to ours but more technically advanced, eventually grew out of a Dearth industrial revolution. Once electronics had been discovered, Dooman technology advanced to such a degree that they succeeded in building autonomous artificial intelligence. They soon managed to link this machine intelligence to advanced robot technology which also became autonomous. Then they sat back and allowed their machines to do all the hard work... 

Then all the easy work.

Dooman progress continued to a point where intelligent machines ran everything on Dearth from farming to manufacturing, mining and waste disposal. From education to historical research to entertainment and fine dining. Apart from gossip, there was nothing productive left for Doomans to do because the machines had also taken over Dooman breeding responsibilities.

As time went on, Doomans lost the ability to invent anything new or do anything original or constructive but strangely enough they retained a primeval urge to explore. One day during some prehistoric research, the machines decided to consider this primeval urge for a millisecond or two. 

The machines came to a momentous decision, examined its ramifications for another few milliseconds and began building interstellar spaceships. They planned to transport frozen Dearth embryos across interstellar space to suitable planets, including Earth. The machines were of course planners. Inevitably so.

At some point in our recent past, Dearth spaceships entered our solar system and found some parking spaces near Uranus. Then frozen Dearth embryos were automatically thawed out to begin the slow process of Dooman development from embryo to educated adult. Educated to pass as human of course. Approximately human – as far as those Dearth machines understood these things.

Finally Dooman adults were ready to land on Earth. They left Uranus via a host of undetectable landing pods and Doomans began the process of colonisation.

As Doomans look much like humans, they managed to fit into human societies very well, but from their perspective there is a drawback. Centuries of unproductive leisure have left them surprisingly dim by human standards. Without their intelligent machines around them, they cannot compete with humans apart from an inhumanly well-developed ability to waffle.

Perhaps this is unsurprising, as Doomans spent centuries filling much of their leisure time with gossip. As there was nothing substantive to gossip about, a fantastically developed waffling ability was the natural result. Doomans are the finest wafflers in the known universe. It is their one outstanding accomplishment.

Unfortunately, this is the only way to spot a Dooman. Not a completely reliable way to identify one, but worth bearing in mind.


Ed P said...

Waffling? Talking a lot? Dooman sounds like Wooman?
Better watch out for the perpetually-offended mob - they just love something new to object to!
Greta vs. Asimo? I know which one appears more human and intelligent.

James Higham said...

Alien or created from a test tube?

MrMC said...

There is a theory that no civilisation as able to survive much past their industrial age as they all destroy their ecosystems through pollution or war.

This suggests intelligence is a definite evolutionary disadvantage, we are only 250,000 years old and already affecting the earth in many ways, but the dinosaurs survived for many millions of years with quite small brains.

I think civilisations also destroy themselves from within through making themselves too attractive to barbarians,and pandering to them, something the UK seems intent upon.

Once the muslims and Afticams outbreed us they will wipe us out then they will inevitably turn on eachother as any examination of areas they come from clearly shows and, with our technoogy, will ensure we colectively end up worse than Beirut.

You wouldn't catch a stegosaurus doing that.

Sam Vega said...

If Doomans look like humans, how can we explain Greta?

Sobers said...

I've often said, with tongue somewhat in cheek, that the older I get the more I think David Icke's lizard theory is beginning to look more and more plausible. After all who hasn't looked at our political class and thought 'What planet do these people come from????'

djc said...

Civilisations die when they become too comfortable, there are too many non-productive people who need to meddle in order to maintain status among their meddling peers. And for a time nobody notices, or even minds very much if they do, because so long as a few people are still capable of useful work that is enough to keep the show on the road. But in the end there are too many passengers and not enough drivers…

Penseivat said...

If you want to look at our future, just read, "When The Machine Stops".
If we don't kill ourselves through religious or political wars, technological advances with computer operated machinery doing all the work, will mean fewer and fewer people will remember how to build or repair, and their (our) descendants will never learn. AI will not be bothered about pollution in carrying out it's tasks, and humanity will not be capable of reversing these effects or repairing the machines if they fail, or improving them. Enjoying a life of leisure will eventually become boring. Humanity will stagnate, become bored, depressed, and top themselves to experience a millisecond of sensation.
Perhaps the machines will be able to send embryos back to Dearth before we reach that stage, but no gingers please?

A K Haart said...

Ed - "I know which one appears more human and intelligent." So do I.

James - probably from a test tube.

MrMC - most of Europe seems too attractive to barbarians and the political will to do something about it does not seem to be there. As if people with money don't care and the rest of us don't count.

Sam - it was a problem with the thawing process.

Sobers - yes, David Icke's lizard theory does look more and more plausible. It's why Boris keeps his hair untidy, to look more human and less like a Lizard. Starmer hasn't yet latched on to that.

djc - I think that's it, too many passengers and not enough drivers. For decades universities have pumped out graduates who use their qualifications to become a passenger. Bright enough for that but not for anything more productive.

Penseivat - thanks, I've just checked Amazon and the Kindle version of "When The Machine Stops" is only £0.71. I'll buy it.

Doonhamer said...

When the electronic amusements are easier to obtain and more enjoyable than sex we are doomed, Ah tell ye, doo-oomed.
Throw in waffle about toxic masculinity and the urge to get pally with any wench is quashed.
Then there is the conundrum of what exactly male and female are.
And high quality, on line, on tap, all too perfect porn ensures that the real thing will be a dissapointment.

A K Haart said...

Doonhamer - from what I see, the urge to get pally with any wench isn't only quashed by electronic amusements.