Tuesday, 18 February 2025
Smart Pyjamas
Scientists develop smart pyjamas to monitor sleep conditions at home
Scientists are developing smart pyjamas which could monitor disorders such as sleep apnoea at home.
Cambridge University researchers said the garment has an “ultrasensitive sensor array directly printed on the collar, capable of identifying multiple sleep patterns”, which begins by detecting subtle vibrations.
They designed the smart pyjamas to be washable and to offer an alternative to traditional sleep monitoring systems that are “complex and inconvenient for daily use”.
Sounds like the kind of development Keir Starmer could support as part of his Plan for Change, especially if we eventually see AI pyjamas. At the moment, Starmer likes to bring AI into his speeches, so an announcement to the assembled hacks could go something like this:
The changes I’m announcing today represent the logical next step in how we approach responsible AI pyjama development – helping us to unleash AI pyjamas and turbocharge the economy as part of our Plan for Change.
The work of the new AI Pyjama Institute will ensure our citizens – and those of our allies - are protected from those who would look to use AI pyjamas against our institutions, democratic values, and way of life.
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15 comments:
I wish to register a protest - blatant discrimination against nightshirt wearers.
I'd like to see Sir Pink appear in the Commons wearing his pyjams and a pair of clown shoes. Maybe a jester's cap as well, with little bells?
The text lends itself to repurposing:
The changes I’m announcing today represent the logical next step in how we approach responsible CV development – helping us to unleash CVs and turbocharge the economy as part of our Plan for Change.
The work of the new CV Institute will ensure our citizens – and those of our allies - are protected from those who would look to use CVs against our institutions, democratic values, and way of life.
Perhaps too close to real life?
dearieme - good idea, he should appear in the Commons dressed like that, also the ceremonial, full bottom wig of a judge - I'm sure he has several. Maybe smart wigs would be as useful as smart pyjamas.
DJ - that would be an improvement. Apparently there is another Reeves CV embellishment in her Who's Who entry - assuming her name really is Rachel Reeves of course.
I suddenly need a good stiff drink or eight to blot it all out.
James - eight would certainly blot it all out for me.
More " sudden and unexpected deaths" with elderly popping their clogs with terminal sleep apnoea while wearing "safe and effective" NHS Smart Pygamas with AI modified collars. Known affectionately by the software engineers as Hal
Doonhamer - "Hal, loosen the collar... glurk..."
"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
I think it will be interesting for THE to have pyjamas more intelligent than he is.
Penseivat
There will be an "unprecidented" increase in deaths, by cessation of breathing, of the elderly wearing pyjamas fitted with the "safe and effective" AI collars. The officially recognised medical practitioners will be baffled.
There will be multi million pound full judicial inquiry, holding sub-inquiries in many, farflung, nice locations around the nation. The final report, expected after 2030, will be published (slipped out) during some other, unprecedented disaster. It's main finding will be that certain people, of the wrong political bent, were present at illicit pyjamas parties where pyjamas tops were unbuttoned.
The scurrilous miss/mal/fake reports that the big, central computer, known affectionately as Hal9001 by its programmers, controlling all the collars had anything to do with the deaths will be ignored.
The next logical step would be to have the pyjams give you a nasty electric shock if you attempt to walk to the shop in them
Penseivat - THE?
Doonhamer - the prospect of a multi million pound full judicial inquiry must be tempting for many bureaucrats who operate from a position of safety and the DPP will say "It didn't cross my desk."
Bucko - is that the voice of experience?
A K Haart - I always wear a full dinner suit to go to the corner shop
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