Wednesday, 25 May 2022
Civilised Gestures
Nearly thirty years ago we were in the second car of a funeral cortege driving through a housing estate at the usual sedate pace on the way to the crematorium. As I glanced through the car window I saw an elderly couple walking towards us on the pavement.
When the hearse in front of us was about to draw level with them, the old chap stopped and raised his hat. Even in those days it was an old-fashioned gesture, but one I’ve always remembered. I promised myself that I’d do the same if the opportunity arose, but it never did.
Simple civilised gestures are important, but as with a number of others, that one seems to have gone the way of the dodo. Partly the lack of a hat I suppose.
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I was about five when my mum insisted that I took off my school cap as a funeral passed. I'd guess that was 1953. Now I can remember things like that but not what day it is . . .
It's interesting to see on the telly which directors tell the actors to take off hats, as one would, in indoors private spaces. At least as one would in Britain: was the custom different in the US?
Things like that can have a big impact. I can vividly remember gentlemen (and they were gentlemen) raising their hats as we followed my dad to the crem. And Catholics (I assume) crossing themselves.
I guess taking down the hood of my waterproof Rab jacket wouldn't count, and besides, if I had the hood up I wouldn't have seen the hearse coming anyway.
In my dad's army days, and if he was in uniform, he used to stop and salute any passing funeral!
Yes there's not many hats about these days. And the odd baseball cap would not count, I suppose
The Mrs says I look good in a hat, but I don't wear them as I feel a bit of a plonka being the only one. Yes I know you're not supposed to care what others think, but still...
Jannie - I remember something about having to take off my school cap but I can't remember when we were supposed to do it.
dearieme - I have a vague idea that it was the same in the US if films are any guide. It was also important to find your hat and put it on when going out, even when in a hurry.
Sam - taking down the hood of your jacket would cheer up the mourners though, because they would think it had stopped raining.
Scrobs - that reminds me, AA patrolmen used to salute. I can't remember when they stopped doing it though.
Bucko - I have a number of hats but haven't worn them since lockdown. Nobody seems to notice when you do wear one and it does make a chap feel slightly less casual.
As a uniformed pOlice officer, I always stood at attention and saluted as a funeral cortege passed by. Same thing when I was in military uniform before the Police. Simply a mark of respect for the loss of a life and to those left behind. Now retired from the Police, was pleased to see a young Constable saluting a funeral cortege recently.
Can't stand people wearing hats indoors or, worst of all, sat at a dining table or in a restaurant. I think it was Vlad Tepes who used to nail the hats to the skull if it happened in his presence. Perhaps that practice should be brought back.
Penseivat - we don't see many police officers on foot round here apart from an out of town shopping centre a few miles away. A pity I think.
1966, my grandmother's funeral (or was it my grandfather? he died a few months later —a broken heart). Yet I remember well someone doffing their hat as the cortege passed.
djc - it was probably normal then, but times were changing.
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