Tuesday, 24 May 2022

A sketch we’ll never see

Imagine a Monty Python type sketch with a similar format to the dead parrot sketch. This imaginary sketch opens with a man in a suit fiddling around with papers at the reception desk of an office. The walls are covered with weather maps. Another man wearing a thick fair isle jumper enters the office, walks up to the reception desk and says –

Jumper: Hello, I wish to make a complaint about the Met Office.

Suit: Oh… er… Sorry mate, this isn’t the Met Office it’s a bicycle shop.

Jumper: A bicycle shop? He gazes around the office. Then why does it say ‘Met Office’ on the door and why are your walls covered in weather maps and suchlike? Answer me that.

Suit: Great weather maps aren’t they? Very decorative we find them, especially the use of colour and those wiggly lines, But we aren’t the Met Office, Sir. We’re a bicycle shop.

Jumper: Don’t give me that. If this is a bicycle shop why are there no bicycles and why aren’t you wearin’ brown overalls?

Suit: That’s because we’re right out of bicycles at the moment… He looks around ostentatiously then shakes his head. Just can’t get hold of bicycles these days.

Jumper: Can’t get hold of bicycles? There are millions of them all over the world. 

Suit: Not round here squire.

Jumper: Look here my man, I’ve had quite enough of this. This is the Met Office and many years ago you promised us warmer weather because of global warmin’. You said we’d be so ‘ot we’d have move up north to Carlisle or somewhere. So why am I still wearin’ my woolly jumper in May? Tell me that.

Hardly hilarious, but although it could be made to work, only sceptical people would find it amusing. Most comedy is essentially conformist in spite of its somewhat anarchic image.


Sam Vega said...

I suppose the difficulty in a climate change sketch is that the public can readily understand why commercial pressure would lead someone to deny that a parrot they had sold was dead. But we can't really envisage why meteorological scientists should make things up.

DAD said...

Sam - Follow the money. (as always).

Scrobs. said...

If there's so much 'globule worming' going on, why aren't British farmers allowed to grow more wheat?

This 'wilding' nonsense is strangling our farming communities, and livestock farms are continually targetted by thick lefties intent on forcing ridiculous, unsafe vegan 'ethics' down everyone's throats.

If it rains, my spuds grow bigger, if it doesn't, I water them!

dearieme said...

I had a vegan meal on Monday evening, a quiche of petit pois and courgette. The silly buggers had ruined it by adding chilli.

Or the droll fellows had decided to punish vegans by adding chilli. Your guess is as good as mine.

A K Haart said...

Sam - that seems to be a core the problem, believers don't seem to be aware of the professional pressures to conform or the complexities and uncertainties of the issue. Or even the unlikelihood that it is all true and settled considering the problems of weather forecasting.

DAD - yes and on so many levels. The salary, the mortgage, the family, the vast investment in windmills, solar panels, electric cars.

Scrobs - and universities seem to be churning out those thick lefties in ever increasing numbers.

dearieme - we find flavouring to be a problem with vegan or veggie meals. Easy to underestimate when making them, but chilli is no shortcut. Although we use it ourselves, we tend to avoid any bought food with chilli in it because it is so easy to ruin the flavour.