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Wednesday 17 February 2021

Covid Witnesses



The Covid Witness movement appears to be growing with little groups of Coves as they are called knocking on doors with their leaflets in a search for new converts. The main plank of their movement is what Covid Witnesses call their PCR Test or simply the Test. There are three mantras within the Test.

  1. Praise the sacred calling of Epidemiology
  2. Cover the face in the presence of Covid
  3. Report your neighbours

The Third Mantra of the Covid Witnesses probably requires some elaboration. Covid Witnesses are not suggesting that believers should necessarily spy on their neighbours full time. What they do suggest is that they should report neighbours who seem to be the type of people who would violate the first two Mantras of the PCR. Covid Witnesses call it their version of the precautionary principle.

All very interesting and a sign of the times perhaps. However it remains to be seen if this new movement flourishes in the longer term. Does it offer enough spiritual sustenance? This is the real test of any such movement.

It is not known if Boris Johnson is a convert or not, but even if he is a devout Covid Witness, his epiphany  may turn out to be temporary. With Boris they usually are.

8 comments:

Ed P said...

Has Witless sent these Witnesses?

And I like the way you've echoed the Trinity!

I shall treat them the same as Jehovah's Witnesses: ask them in for a chat about Hinduism or Buddhism (or in this case science) - see how they run!

Scrobs. said...

I've given up all Covids for Lent!

Someone has to make a stand...

Sam Vega said...

I'm one of the chosen ones. Just had a call from their Kingdom Hall, where they want me to attend some sort of service and receive a sacrament into my arm.

Scrobs. said...

Sam, don't forget they'll test you in a couple of months as well! Be warned!

You'll need you ID card, a small book of writings, and a photograph of the death of Nelson!

A K Haart said...

Ed - be careful about inviting them in, they may want you to join in a happy clappy session.

Scrobs - I've given them up too - Hobnobs are much better with coffee.

Sam - good luck, you are bound to come back with a leaflet or two. And a nice membership card.

Sam Vega said...

Scrobs and AKH:

Don't worry, I'm not even going to reply. They never returned my many calls about the results of my scan, so I can no longer take the NHS seriously.

Nessimmersion said...

Thank you for your astute observations.
I had previously thought they were the same sect as the " Branch Covidians".
I have taken the liberty of posting your point elsewhere.

A K Haart said...

Nessimmersion - curses - I wish I'd thought of "Branch Covidians".