Friday 26 February 2021
Another Win For Team Boris
As we know, the UK roadmap which finally takes us out of the coronavirus debacle stipulates that nobody is allowed to be poorly during transition back to normality. The police have been given special powers to question those who break this rule by coughing, sneezing or looking generally manky without official authorisation.
Suppose someone breaks the rules and actually looks a bit off colour so to speak? Here’s where the remarkably quick political thinking came into play. In a stunning move which has Emmanuel Macron and all of the EU establishment fuming, Team Boris has purchased the entire world supply of Night Nurse, Lemsip, throat lozenges, Hall's Linctus and Vicks VapoRub.
These emergency symptom suppressants will allow the police to question anyone who coughs, sneezes or looks suspiciously iffy without an official excuse and log their reasons for breaking the rules. A team of expert hypochondriacs has been recruited to a special government task force to assist in these crucial investigations.
More on this story as it splutters along.
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2 comments:
Some might mock, but it's a winning strategy. Just watch those symptoms start to disappear as we move into Spring and the warm weather begins. By May, government scientists will have got Seasonal Affective Disorder under control, and then by July the plan is for people to get some colour into their cheeks. All due to Boris, of course.
Sam - all due to Boris and lots may well believe it or at least admit that he had something to do with it.
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