As you may know, previous winners of the Dork of the Year (DotY) award have been
2018 The British Electorate
2017 Michael Heseltine
2016 Mark Carney
2015 Ed Miliband
2015 Naomi Klein
All worthy winners, but what about 2019? It may be worth repeating an observation originally from 2015, repeated in 2016, 2017, 2018 and unfortunately even more relevant today.
The huge number of candidates has made choosing Dork of the Year (DotY) even more difficult than usual this year. Not that the problem is new because each year there seem to be even more Qualifying Dorks than the year before.
However we have a preliminary list of Qualifying Dorks from which to choose.
Prince Harry obviously. The suggestion that Dork of the Year should be changed to Harry of the Year has been turned down, although the idea certainly has merit.
Jeremy Corbyn but not so much for losing the general
election so spectacularly. Jeremy’s dorkworthy candidacy is down to his decades
of trying to come across as an intellectual radical. The casual clothes, Lenin
cap, Yasser Arafat keffiyeh, the erstwhile floppy hair and the beard. All very
dorkworthy.
Theresa May obviously.
The BBC for clinging on to the TV licence scam long after it has
become such an obvious embarrassment.
Sir David Attenborough for endorsing climate change dorkishness, a political movement so plainly based on pretend science that even Sir David should notice.
Emmanuel Macron for his transparently silly attempts to be the Big Man of Europe.
Jo Swinson for such an absurd general election policy as cancelling Brexit. To be so blatantly and stridently undemocratic in a democratic election is almost beyond dorkworthy.
There are many others. Possibly too many but suggestions are certainly welcome.
7 comments:
Swinson's a strong candidate.
Nicola Sturgeon. For trying to rush the Scots into an Independence Referendum at the silliest possible time. There are three possible outcomes of Brexit: 1) it may be better than EU membership; 2) it may be about the same as EU membership; 3) it may be worse than EU membership. Only in outcome (3), would it be sensible for Scotland to separate from the Union. And Nicola Sturgeon wants the Scots to make that decision before they can possibly know which outcome has happened.
If the Scots are silly enough to fall for that scam, I will nominate them for Dork of the Year 2020.
You are right that there are more contenders, but we need to be quite precise here, and not confuse dorkishness with other objectionable qualities which deserve far harsher titles. I immediately thought of Bercow, for example, before realising that although he has some splendid dorkish qualities, his erstwhile power and malevolence take him clear of the category. Likewise Grieve; he would clearly do well in a Nasty Bastard contest, but there is, sadly, little of the dork about him.
Greta is a splendid female contender, but as yet lacks that quality of haplessness the surrounds the true dork.
In politics, I would like to suggest Emily Thornberry, for her exciting qualities of rumbustious coarse fakery and loser's poor judgement. I'm also tempted by Richard Burgon, but he needs a little time to mature. Maybe next year?
Your inclusion of that ginger bloke who used to be in the army or something and then married Princess Sparkle is excellent. But could I also suggest his uncle Andrew? Possibly too nasty and self-assured to be a natural dork, but his doltish behaviour and incredibly maladroit cover-up show he has real potential. If you think about it, he's the only modern royal who has actually had to retire for being stupid.
"But could I also suggest his uncle Andrew? Possibly too nasty and self-assured to be a natural dork, but his doltish behaviour and incredibly maladroit cover-up show he has real potential. If you think about it, he's the only modern royal who has actually had to retire for being stupid."
Thank you Sam, you saved me the hassle of writing something similar, but not as eloquent!
I would like to add Hugh Grant, for being such a pillock, and Gary Linekar for being something more awful!
An old favorite not really in the running until post election, the Abbopotamus appearing in two left shoes and last seen walking in ever decreasing circles shows when it comes to the crunch she has it all as a contender, even a late run up the outside by Lily Allen couldn't compete with that.
Has the Archbish Welby done anything properly dorky this year? I suggest his Xmas message in The Big Issue might be the clincher.
Mark Carney is, as always,the Lewis Hamilton of dorks. Pope Francis is as solid a runner as ever, after his comments on Boris. An interesting outsider might be Jo Swinson a couple of weeks after predicting she would be the next Prime Minister. Hugh Grant, Steve Coogan and Emma Thompson are in the running. Has John Bercow's time come? Perhaps you could go for a heavyweight historian who has made himself a laughing stock with his embarrassing attempts to be a "woke" public intellectual, Professor Sir Richard Evans. A former Regius Professor caught dad-dancing badly... Highly dorkish if you were to ask me
All - excellent suggestions. I've compiled and additional list for the next post.
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