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Monday, 8 October 2012

Lucid rants



One of my favourite types of blog post is the lucid rant. It’s where a blogger seems to build up a head of steam and all of a sudden out comes a real, rasping snorter of a rant. Purple prose in full-on vituperation mode. I love it. Lucid, straight to the point, uninhibited and profoundly satisfying.

A good rant makes my day.

It’s not something I do myself, because I think to do it well you need the invective arts of Auberon Waugh and, let’s be honest here, a light sprinkling of well-placed f-words sometimes does no harm too.

Rants seem to be triggered when a particularly ludicrous bit of news floats to the surface. It's usually something to do with the scumbags we elected instead of a proper government. Something which makes you think:-

I wonder what (insert blog of choice) will make of that? Time to do the rounds.

When a particularly good bit of outrageous absurdity pops up, I sniff the internet air and off I go on the delicious scent of a really good rant, because there is always one to be found. 

In the old, pre-web days this was nigh on impossible, because where would you look? Okay there were always mildly cynical and sarcastic magazines such as Private Eye and possibly a few waspish journalists in mainstream print journalism, but it was all a little tame compared to the present.

Because I really do see a need for vituperation – a good solid dose of it is healthy and cathartic. If stupidity and cupidity had been vanquished then maybe things would be different. Maybe we could settle down and have a go at being civilized.

Maybe.

8 comments:

Thud said...

I've been reducing the frequency of my rants as it always seems like preaching to the converted although offending the odd sensitive liberal passerby is a bonus.

Roger said...

Here's a rant. A friend is going abroad on hols, trots along to the quack's and fills out travel vaccines form. Is advised to get a typhoid jab - snag, no typhoid jabs in stock. So when asks friend - Oh, sometime in next year declares surgery pharmacist. But here is the number for "A Private Clinic". So can I get it done here and pay says friend - Oh no comes answer.

So then friend rings local branch of well known chemists for the oral vaccine option, selects 'Pharmacy Team' and ring ring ring ring ring ring ' your call is important to us' ring ring ring ring ring ring etc etc. Friend loses will to live and jumps on plane anyway. Friend declares 'if I get typhoid I will get to that bl*&dy surgery and cough and spew over everyone if it's the last thing I do'.

Now once upon a time this sort of thing was sorted out with no trouble at all, now it is like living in a third-world country - worse, in a third world country at least the medics have an excuse for being unable to help.

Demetrius said...

There is a Wikipedia entry on Ranters re the Civil War era of the 17th Century. What a pity they never became the Established Church.

A K Haart said...

Thud - it is preaching to the converted, but we still enjoy it.

Roger - yes, that's a good rant.

"Your call is important to us. So important we're not answering it."

Demetrius - it would certainly have made "Songs of Praise" a little different, especially the nudity.

James Higham said...

Ranting's good but only if the guy knows his stuff.

A K Haart said...

James - true.

Angus Dei said...

Just done one AK:)

A K Haart said...

Angus - just read it and replied (: