Emergency constipation

How millions go to A&E with minor issues like a blocked nose

Millions of patients are going to Accident and Emergency departments across England with minor ailments, new figures reveal.

Analysis shows that over five years, A&E medics have treated nearly 1.9 million cases of headache.

Between 2020/21 and 2024/25, almost 1.4 million attendances were for a cough, while 1.2 million sought help for a sore throat.

Earache accounted for a further 1 million A&E visits, according to Press Association analysis. Other complaints included almost 69,000 for a blocked nose, 4,200 for hiccups, and 290,000 for constipation.

And presumably they can vote

In spite of the blocked nose

And the emergency constipation

Can't be accidental constipation for A&E

Unless...