The Slimewarbler Incident

The other day I found myself browsing through some old Galactic Resource material. Not something I usually do but I’d just completed a shift in the old Pluto Observatory and hadn’t enjoyed it as much as usual.

Maybe the remoteness of Pluto is getting to me. I’ve never really taken to the place – all that frozen nitrogen may inspire poets who don’t work there but it doesn’t do much for me. Anyhow, I had this idea that a spot of historical research would clear the bugs from my brain before another shift came along.

I only went as far as Moonbase of course, no point dropping all the way down a gravity well like Earth. I’d only have to climb out of it again and that’s an expensive game. Anyhow, going back to that historical stuff in Galactic Resource, I stumbled on the Slimewarbler Incident which I knew about but had almost forgotten.

As anyone would expect, the dear old Galactic Resource has masses and masses of info on the Slimewarbler Incident and Guide pointed me towards a huge discussion on when it is supposed to have started but I skipped all that. It started round about 2000 as far as I’m concerned, but why the interest and why would I snub Guide?

Simple answer – one of my ancestors was involved and managed to record some of it before Earth was Purged. I don’t know much about him, but he was some kind of engineer. Guide has it all stored away of course, but as we all know she doesn’t think much of the personal angle and tends to discourage it.

However I still have my ancestor’s diary written on some kind of thin, flexible organic material called paper. I’ve had it preserved and translated of course because I want to pass it on to my descendants eventually, but here is an extract where it is easy to see definite evidence of Slimewarbler contact.

July 1st. Had some discussions with H about our plans but we have to complete a preliminary carbon footprint assessment before October. This stuff makes me tired but we have to do it.

Weird isn't it? Or try this.

October 4th. Met our October target but have been told bridge design is not sufficiently gender neutral and we have to revisit that. Maybe the tablets aren't strong enough. 

Much of the diary is just as cryptic as this because I don’t think it was ever intended to be read, but there are fascinating hints of the strange lives they led in those far off days. The things they worried themselves sick over are not always easy to understand but that’s the Slimewarbler influence. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and just tell them all about the Slimewarblers.

The Slimewarblers really screwed them up and it just gets worse and worse until Galactic Ethics spotted what was going on. Naturally they had to Purge so I’m not sure how my diary got out. Maybe it was evidence taken away before Purging.

As we all know, the Slimewarblers go in for illegal preaching to untouched civilisations and at that time Earth was untouched. Then the Slimewarblers arrived although to this day nobody seems to know how they got through. Galactic Resource has plenty of theories but nothing solid.

Incidentally, Slimewarblers look a lot like humans so acceptance was never a stumbling block for them. The ludicrous nature of their preaching should have been a stumbling block but as we know, it wasn’t. It’s a pity I suppose, but it all happened a long time ago.