I think it must involve the type of neighbourly enmity where they go around putting signs saying "Please take this free item" on each other's unattended possessions. In fact, I would be mildly disappointed if it didn't...
Woodsy - probably, but I'd prefer a more exotic explanation.
OK. Their daughter was out on the new bike her parents had bought her when she met an exotic chap with long hair and lots of charisma. As time went on the girl, on a pretence of getting excercise, was going out almost every evening to secretly meet this man. Sadly the man was a member of an underground death cult and once tired of their lovemaking he poisoned her, chopped her up and fed her to the pike in the local river. The police found the bike and returned it. The girl's parents were obviously distraught and wanted nothing more to do with the bicycle, could hot bear to handle it or talk about it. But being dedicated members of the Green Party and into upcycling and minimal waste of resources neither could they bring themselves to simply throw it away. So they had a neighbour write the note and leave it in the street for someone else to use.
The bicycle is possessed by a demon. It wrote this note in the hope of tricking some well-meaning person into letting it into their home so that it can wreak havoc. Think of it as "Christine" for people who vote Green and shop at Waitrose. Instead of a psychotic muscle car smashing people into a bloody pulp you get a gaslighting velocipede which nags you into committing suicide in order to reduce your carbon footprint.
Woodsy and Andrew - excellent and chilling. The number of possibilities must be endless. Maybe the bike was left there by a UFO and the first person to ride it will be kidnapped.
8 comments:
I think it must involve the type of neighbourly enmity where they go around putting signs saying "Please take this free item" on each other's unattended possessions. In fact, I would be mildly disappointed if it didn't...
Maybe they simply want it gone?
From Here To Maternity?
Sam - there are no unattended possessions round here but I don't think that is the reason.
Woodsy - probably, but I'd prefer a more exotic explanation.
Demetrius - very good, wish I'd thought of that!
Woodsy - probably, but I'd prefer a more exotic explanation.
OK. Their daughter was out on the new bike her parents had bought her when she met an exotic chap with long hair and lots of charisma. As time went on the girl, on a pretence of getting excercise, was going out almost every evening to secretly meet this man. Sadly the man was a member of an underground death cult and once tired of their lovemaking he poisoned her, chopped her up and fed her to the pike in the local river. The police found the bike and returned it. The girl's parents were obviously distraught and wanted nothing more to do with the bicycle, could hot bear to handle it or talk about it. But being dedicated members of the Green Party and into upcycling and minimal waste of resources neither could they bring themselves to simply throw it away. So they had a neighbour write the note and leave it in the street for someone else to use.
Abandoned bike.
"I'd prefer a more exotic explanation"
The bicycle is possessed by a demon. It wrote this note in the hope of tricking some well-meaning person into letting it into their home so that it can wreak havoc. Think of it as "Christine" for people who vote Green and shop at Waitrose. Instead of a psychotic muscle car smashing people into a bloody pulp you get a gaslighting velocipede which nags you into committing suicide in order to reduce your carbon footprint.
Woodsy and Andrew - excellent and chilling. The number of possibilities must be endless. Maybe the bike was left there by a UFO and the first person to ride it will be kidnapped.
James - too simple for a complex world.
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