Dear Dave

A senior member of your party has tried to paint UKIP as a party of clowns and I’d like to pick you up on that one - just to set the record straight. Forgive me for adding that you are not one for setting anything straight.

You have a Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change as you probably know. His name is Ed Davey, which you may also know, although it hardly matters does it? 

Now one of Mr Davey’s tasks is to make sure your government observes the basic rules of climate change orthodoxy. Among many and varied claims, this orthodoxy insists that we may change the weather by driving cars with smaller engines.

Your government has spent huge sums of money on such weather-changing policies. You officially believe that you have the capability to change global weather patterns via UK legislation.

Note that I don’t impute this clownish belief to you personally, although Mr Davey appears to be convinced. I would hesitate to impute beliefs to you because you give no indication of having any.

Surely this issue highlights the clown-clogged character of your government. Because how on earth does anyone but a clown believe they are able to change global weather patterns via legislation? Do you believe it?

UKIP may have faults, but you personally are prepared to enact and support legislation which belongs in the circus ring. You may even know it to be clownish - how are we voters supposed to tell - especially when you all act like clowns?

It’s another motes and beams issue isn’t it – this clown business? 

Yours etc.