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Monday, 17 September 2012

Royal jugs


Very late in the day, but I feel a curious need to say something about the Duchess of Cambridge's royal bosom. Not from personal experience you understand, although here I don't seem to be in such a large majority as one would usually suppose. Unfortunately for the royals and their acolytes, more pictures are apparently due to be published with the Duchess wearing even less than virtually nothing.

The point has been made all over the place that the royal couple were naive - still are presumably. Although not so naive now, after a rough lesson they shouldn't have needed. Don't their minders know how a telephoto lens works?

Image goes in one end - comes out enormously magnified - that kind of technical stuff?

Whatever one thinks of the paparazzi, they are a fact of life and it would have been easy enough for the Duke and Duchess to behave outside as if they were being observed through powerful optics - as indeed they were. Hardly surprising and no point getting angry, because it'll happen again unless they make changes to their behaviour.

Even a quick scan of the area with a pair of cheap binoculars, or even the naked eye, would surely have revealed the possibility of covert observation. If they had paid attention during science class, they might have remembered this vital piece of physics.

Light travels in straight lines.

Okay, Einstein may have changed that simple view, but we really don't need an Einstein in this case do we?

10 comments:

Roger said...

Well, it seems a bit ungentlemanly to discuss a lady's norks but as Mrs R said 'it's only tits, what's all the fuss about'. But as they say, there is no such thing as bad publicity, so get your kit off, get publicity.

Purely in the interests of research I bought a copy of the Sun to study similar er subject matter. Now I may be getting old but the Sun seems to have mastered the secret of making a naked lady thoroughly un-sexy, page 3 seems to have been airbrushed such that all sense of flesh has been expunged entirely, as sexy as celery. Still seeking thrills I turned to the problems page - oh what disappointment, what tripe, trivial issues, unreal scenarios. As least in my day the problems pages were enlivened by the fantasies of lonely sailors (allegedly), now it seems a rather poor computer program has taken over.

Demetrius said...

Glad to see you keeping abreast of the news. When we used to go to the South of France I often took off my football shirt to take the air in my string vest. It went well with the old rugby shorts, a sort of je ne sais quoi thing. But I drew the line at wearing socks with the sandals.

A K Haart said...

Roger - only tits? Surely royal tits are different - they're worth more, especially a pair. I bet the French newspaper deal would have been substantially less for a singleton.

I read the Sun recently too - in the dentist's waiting room. Not very appealing at all, but that may be an age thing.

Demetrius - ah the old string vest, haven't seen one of those in years. I was never convinced they worked - ie the provision of some kind of thermal insulation.

James Higham said...

Whatever one thinks of the paparazzi, they are a fact of life and it would have been easy enough for the Duke and Duchess to behave outside as if they were being observed through powerful optics - as indeed they were.

Absolutely.

A K Haart said...

James - I'm still faintly surprised they didn't foresee it.

Sam Vega said...

I thought the whole point of that Kate woman was that she was a completely normal if slightly more attractive middle class gel. The sort that would get her bits out on holiday in France, just as she would do some far-east travelling with her thick rich officer -type husband. That is, apparently, what we Brits wanted, or so everyone said when the couple got married.

So why the fuss? Did she actually want to be a traditional sort of Queen, or something?

A K Haart said...

Sam - I don't mind her getting her bits out on holiday, although somehow I don't find her at all attractive.

I suspect she didn't have the traditional/modern Queen angle worked out. Could be another problem for the royal gene pool.

Angus Dei said...

Just a storm in a B cup...

A K Haart said...

Angus - very good... How do you know she takes a B cup?

Angus Dei said...

I used the scale on the telephoto lens to measure them...