Friday, 13 April 2012

A rare talent

My old school

A reference to orphans and orphanages by Roger in his comment on one of my posts managed to stir the murky sediment of my own memories of orphanage kids.

When I was at primary school, there was an orphanage next door and quite naturally the inmates attended our school. It wasn't a posh school - many of us non-oprphans came from the local council estate, so I don't remember any snobbishness. Even so, those orphanage kids had a huge disadvantage to overcome.

One lad I remember, named David, was rather weedy looking with NHS spectacles, so you would expect him to have had and even harder time of it, but he was the proud possessor of a rare talent.

The Victorian school toilets were outside and had no roof. Between the toilets and what I seem to recall were the grounds of he orphanage was a high brick wall. I can't remember how high it was, but the top of it was way above our heads.

Anyway, David could piss right over this wall - clear it completely with an arc of urine from a standing position. Nobody else could get anywhere near. Okay he did misfire from time to time and end up showering himself (we watched his amazing feats from a distance) but it was by general consensus a fine and worthy talent. One to be envied.

As you would expect, because this talent was rated so highly among his peers, nobody bullied him or made fun of him. Well you wouldn't, would you?


Anonymous said...

The rural primary I went to sounds similar - high wall etc. There were a few with the same skill or talent but it did not seem anything especially rare, we could all pee pretty good.

Nowadays I need viagra to avoid peeing on my slippers (oldist joke).

A K Haart said...

Roger - another venerable one.

Old man in care home asks why he is given Viagra at bedtime.

"To stop you rolling out of bed."

James Higham said...

Good to see you raising the tone of the blog, AKH.