Saturday, 20 December 2014

Fake Britain

The BBC has a show called Fake Britain in which counterfeit products are exposed to the glare of publicity and much raising of censorious eyebrows. Fake Head and Shoulders shampoo for example.

Gosh - is a dandruff epidemic likely to be the closest we get to snow this Christmas? Yet as any fule kno there is much more to faking than shampoo.

For example, why doesn’t the BBC do a piece on our fake prime minister or our fake leader of the opposition? Or how about a piece on the fake nation we sometimes call Britain - or Brenda our fake monarch?

After all, there is no longer any nation called Britain, merely an EU region which for historical reasons is conterminous with the land we once called “Britain”. Similarly, “Britain” doesn’t have a prime minister, but merely a second rank EU official lurking in Number 10. The present incumbent is a chap called David Cameron. Next year he may be replaced by another EU official called Ed Miliband. It doesn’t matter either way.

The process used to rotate these EU officials is a fake electoral process called the “General Election” in which people get to choose between a limited number of candidates belonging to one of the three big EU parties – Conservative, Labour and Lib Dem.  

It is still legal to vote for non-EU candidates, presumably because people generally don’t. In this way, hundreds of minor EU officials are elected to what is still called the “House of Commons”. Again the old name is retained for historical reasons. Eventually that too could change.

Oddly enough we still refer to these elected officials as “Members of Parliament” and they still pretend to be enacting "British" laws even though most of the laws they “enact” are sent from Brussels. Nobody knows why this odd performance still goes on although it is probably thought that the old titles and activities are good for tourism.

Anyhow, I’m surprised the BBC doesn’t see this type of fakery as more important than shampoo.

But my surprise is also fake.


Sackerson said...

Coterminous or coverminous?

graham wood said...

AKH Very good post and accurately describes the current mirage.

Speaking of mirages you say:

"Anyhow, I’m surprised the BBC doesn’t see through this type of fakery"
I suggest that it probably does, but sadly its vision became seriously impaired some years ago, due I understand, as being on the receiving end of very substantial largesse from an alien organisation, which cannot be voted into office, which is accountable to literally nobody, and which is perpetuated by self appointed people with delusions of grandeur. I'm sure you get my drift !

Michael said...

All the people you describe above are paid a lot of money whether they succeed or not, which is the most monstrous form of fakery.

After next year's General Election, there will be a mass exodus of the unelected losers towards Brussels, where they will be paid even more for doing even less for Britain.

The BBC has long given up on the qualities we're supposed to be receiving for the tax imposed on us.

Demetrius said...

I can recall a time when a chap using shampoo was all too likely to be shoved under a cold shower and scrubbed down with yard brushes. How times change.

A K Haart said...

Sackers - definitely the latter.

Graham - yes, the BBC has become a fake national broadcaster.

Michael - it's time the BBC was sold off. Even commercial trash would be better.

Demetrius - how did they find out?

Demetrius said...

In them days showers were often communal especially in barracks. Also, the sort of sheen on the hair then was a giveaway. Carbolic soap was just about OK or industrial soaps.

Sackerson said...

I knew an Army captain who made his own shampoo (or was it brilliantine?) Out of of liquid paraffin and flaked soap.

A K Haart said...

Demetrius - I quite like carbolic soap but I think the modern stuff may be imitation.

Sackers - boing!! That reminds me of my parents' recipe which was liquid paraffin and flaked green soap.

It could work as a conditioner too. Conditioners are oil emulsions based on detergent and for cheaper products an oil such as liquid paraffin.

Washing the hair causes the oil to de-emulsify onto the hair, giving it a shine.