New Year's resolutions

From visit.shetland.org

I completely forgot about making some New Year's resolutions this year. I could resolve not to make any and count that as a resolution, but that’s cheating, so here we go...

Firstly I think I’ll eschew more than I have in the past. I don’t mean I’ll eschew more frequently, but I’ll use the word eschew more frequently. It sounds better than commonplace phrases such as give up.

Another resolution is to be a much kinder and much more understanding person, so I’ve decided to knit a new pullover for Nick Clegg. A traditional Fair Isle pattern I thought – with a v-neck to show off his nice ties. I can't guarantee the exact colour though because I intend to knit it from guncotton in case he hasn’t quite eschewed smoking.

Apart from that I think I’ll try to work out why people actually believe political propaganda. I’m thinking here of a new theory which eschews the word stupid and replaces it with something more dynamic and theoretically constructive such bonkers. That way I’ll get under the skin of political strategists because what they mostly do is choose words.

Another resolution is to eat more butter and eschew that congealed yellow vegetable fat sold in plastic tubs. Flora for example. I’m coming round to the idea that it may be no better health-wise than butter and I know which I prefer for flavour.

All the official anti-alcohol propaganda is getting to me, so this year I think I may drink more beer. It’s my contribution to government policy.

I’ll be eating more cheese too. My ideal meal is a cheese and onion sandwich made with fresh bread, spread with real butter and accompanied by a pint of beer.

Cheers.