Monthly horoscope - Sagittarius

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Magical birthstone  - Rocksalt.
Lucky road            - M25.
Lucky dog             - Baskerville.

Sagittarians are a cheerful lot, good at designing sheds and boomerangs, but I'm afraid there is a less than usual to be cheerful about this month. There are a few highlights for the astronauts among you and fitness receives a boost too, but otherwise not much to cheer you up as the horrors of Christmas loom.

I suppose the first thing to mention is the sewage fountain next Saturday afternoon, the DIY job you won't forget for quite a while. How you intend to deal with it I don't know, but super-absorbent kitchen towels won't hack it. I suppose there's no chance of moving house before then?

Anyway moving on to the antics of Neptune and Krypton, because I do have some interesting news about your plan to start up in opposition to the Royal Mint. Apparently it isn't actually legal to print your own money on an inkjet printer - the ink runs and there are various other difficulties which suggest to me that you might like to reconsider. Bit of a bummer though, isn't it?

Next Tuesday Princess Anne calls round to ask if you've seen anything of Charles lately. She may be mistaking you for someone else of course, but the stars suggest you shouldn't let on. You'll find her a little scary, so a few stiff drinks wouldn't come amiss. She doesn't drink whisky and cola though, so don't offer if you'd rather steer clear of that icy stare.

Christmas presents next. The stars advise you to shop early and stick to anything that comes in a bottle except British Sherry. Petrol is always welcome at the moment. Unfortunately the stars don't see anything interesting for you present-wise, so why not buy your own this year? Get something you really want, but keep it legal eh? We don't want a repeat of last year do we?