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Friday, 30 September 2016

Half-baked


As I ponder the mystery within a mystery that is our political class, I wonder if any of them will ever have a biscuit or cake named after them. Garibaldi has his biscuits so you never know. A few thoughts -

The Theresa May biscuit is sturdy, pink and sickly with an undecided flavour. No list of contents on the packet either - which is naughty. 

The Corbyn biscuit is a kind of Hobnob without the sweetness and having a somewhat gravelly and unyielding texture. It is made by hand from sustainable organic millet. Very expensive.

Farron cakes are impossible to find so nobody cares what they taste like.

The Trump biscuit is much smaller than suggested by the picture on a huge glossy packet. Inside all that packaging is a fiery but remarkably insubstantial ginger nut. Obviously.

Clinton cakes are doughnuts sprinkled with artificial sweetener and filled with too much sour cream. Very messy and impossible to manage standing up.

EU biscuits come in a large blue box emblazoned with yellow stars. The box is empty apart from a voucher for more.

How many are suitable for dunking though? That's the question.

7 comments:

Demetrius said...

Surely they are all crackers?

wiggiatlarge said...

Garibaldi had the biscuit named after him after successful visit to England in 186?
and it was made by Peek Feans in London, it has nothing to do with his homeland.
How do I know this piece of useless information, it was a popular quiz question some years back and I didn't know the answer either at the time.

Michael said...

And you can't get chocolate covered Garibaldi biscuits anymore, which is a real pity! They were fabulous!

Presumably, it's all to do with racist something-or-other...

Roger said...

Garibaldi - dead flies in pastry.

A K Haart said...

Demetrius - flaky crackers at that.

Wiggia - are quizzes still viable in a world of smartphones?

Scrobs - dark chocolate would be my preference. Is that even more racist?

Roger - that's where the protein comes from.

James Higham said...

My parents used to call them fly cemeteries.

A K Haart said...

James - my father-in-law said much the same thing.