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The Institute of Experts has produced a new report about the
alarming increase in the number of alarming increases.
“Many key problems in social and economic life are
increasing at an alarming rate,” says the report. The report goes on to suggest
that there is an alarming increase in the rate of alarming increases on top of an already alarming number of alarming increases.
“In addition to the alarming increase in alarming increases,
there is an alarming increase in the number of alarming numbers.” The report
adds. It goes into some detail about the rate of increase in the number of alarming
numbers which it says represents a truly alarming increase in the number of alarming numbers.
Not only that but alarming projections suggest we are headed
for an alarming future at an unprecedentedly alarming rate. Even the number of
projections shows an alarming increase when extrapolated over the next thirty
years.
Meanwhile the Institute of Experts seeks an alarming
increase in funding in order to expand its research.
7 comments:
Excellent! Any organisation seeking funding so it can make predictions should be given a loan by the government. Repayment rates should be tied to the accuracy of those predictions. Get it completely right, and you keep the money. Get it wrong, though, and you're hit with compound interest. The same should apply to air-time with the BBC. A simple formula should indicate which groups get heard, based on the accuracy of their past predictions.
An increase is the backside of an overweight tubby individual.
Eating less stuff like Mcds and KFC may cause a decrease, which helps the individual to function more normally, rather than be a total waste of oxygen!
The size of the crease is important, as it will be 'alarming' if the BBC get hold of the story...
I find the article "concerning" !
A K Haart,
I'm so alarmed by everything that I'm close to the point where even the mediocre is becoming alarming.
Patron Mark Carney?
Trying for employment at the Daily Mash?
Sam - good idea. It should kill off the prediction business almost completely and that would certainly be a blessing.
Scrobs - sounds like a new measure of obesity. Worth passing on to the NHS.
Wiggia - so do I and I wrote it. Maybe I don't do enough worrying.
Mac - that's the idea. Even mediocre storms are now colour-coded.
James - could be although his credibility is pretty shaky.
Jannie - couldn't match them, although I haven't visited the site for quite a while. I visit NewsBiscuit sometimes.
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