The other day we were behind a chap at the supermarket checkout
and as one does during these people-watching opportunities I ran an interested eye over his
shopping.
About twenty tins of sardines.
A dozen tins of tuna.
A large pack of dog chews.
Three litres of whisky.
That lot came to a shade under ninety pounds and an obvious question
springs to mind. What kind of diet does such a simple shopping list imply?
Tinned fish and dog chews for a small dog and whiskey for
the owner perhaps. No – too straightforward.
Maybe the chap has no dog but enjoys snacking on sardines
and a dram followed by a dog chew to keep the jaws active. It would be a diet
to keep obesity away, that’s for sure. Variety would be introduced by
substituting tuna for sardines.
Or maybe the chap has a small dog which enjoys a tin of
sardines followed by a dram then a dog chew to keep its breath sweet. A
pampered dog certainly, but not an impossible scenario.
Sherlock Holmes would have worked it all out at a glance. He
would have spotted a lightly chewed shoelace on the chap’s left shoe or a
telltale dog hair on his trouser leg just six inches from the floor.
A small dog Watson,
probably a Yorkshire Terrier with a taste for the Cherry Blossom smeared on his
shoelaces by hasty application occasioned by the fact that he is already late
for the sardine and tuna party...
No that won’t do. I can’t follow the great detective any
further. If only shopping could be that simple though.
8 comments:
You need something to keep the cold out, and something to keep the dog quiet, while waiting for the seal to come up through the ice-hole and take the bait.
Was he wearing a parka?
Maybe his dog likes canned fish? Nothing unusual there. We once had a mutt who preferred catfood and also loved Sardines in Tomato ketchup. As for the whiskey, if you had a dog like that, you'd be a heavy drinker too.
Big pussy more like...
The whisky is straightforward - flu season.
He is going to throw a party for cats and dogs.
He probably hates cats and dogs and is committing suicide by liver.
We were behind a man with a trolleyful of vodka and dog food. I remarked that the dog was obviously very hard and worth avoiding.
Sam - no parka but he looked hardy enough to be camped out by an ice-hole.
Bill - we had a fish-loving dog too, so yes I think the dog probably did like canned fish.
Scrobs - but what about the dog chews? Maybe a really big pussy.
James - three litres?
Demetrius - and the whisky helps him get through it.
Wiggia - yes, if all that whiskey disappears too quickly so will his liver.
Sackers - hard but the double vision gives you a 50% chance of not being bitten.
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