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Tuesday 8 November 2011

Leaflet hunt



It occurred to me today that I’m getting older but haven’t yet found out who to blame. Presumably there is a government department somewhere with leaflets telling you what to do in different languages often including English, but I don’t seem to have any. I could write a letter I suppose, but it might get lost between all the different offices or land on the desk of somebody who doesn't try very hard. I’d better see if the library has any leaflets...

Well that wasn’t much use. They were most patronising, asking me to sit down and claiming to have no leaflets about my problem, which I find a little surprising to say the least. For some reason they thought I wanted to sit near a radiator and read the Daily Mail. I'm afraid I left in a huff so I’d better try the interweb next...

Well that wasn’t much use either. There’s lots of advice out there on the interweb, but nothing that quite fits my problem of getting older all the time. Surely the authorities are aware of the problem?

I suppose I could blame someone for this apparent lack of official interest, but who? Something ought to be on the interweb as it’s supposed to be so wonderful, but who do I blame about that? Google? I’m not sure Google would accept responsibility and they don’t seem to have any leaflets at all – not one. Makes you wonder doesn’t it – a big outfit like Google doing without leaflets?

Hmm - maybe there are tablets to sort out this getting older problem. I’ll try Sainsbury’s...

Well that wasn’t much use either, lots of vitamins and headache pills but no tablets to stop you getting older. I did buy a nice bottle of wine though. I’ll drink it in lieu of the leaflets and the tablets. I suppose it’ll help until tomorrow. It usually does.

5 comments:

Sam Vega said...

"Surely the authorities are aware of the problem?"

Oh, rest assured that they are, although they tend to see the main problems in a slightly different light. Pensions, welfare dependency, drain on health resources, infilling with immigrants, and so on. The reason they have produced no leaflets is that they don't have the slightest idea as to what to do about these.

Have you tried asking your local vicar? S/he will be much more au fait with your problem. They may even have a solution....

Demetrius said...

One trick is to assume that you have remained the same but that everybody else has got younger.

A K Haart said...

SV - a solution? I'm enjoying the grumpy old fart thing too much.

D - good idea. They certainly look younger.

James Higham said...

We mightn't have to worry about old age too much if things pan out the way they're looking - we won't be around to enjoy it.

A K Haart said...

JH - no I don't like the trends either.