This Anglo-Saxon charm was supposed to cure wens. Probably dating from well before the tenth century, I offer it in case the climate alarmists prevail and we have to relearn old skills. Some day you may even be able to trade the charm for something valuable such as a few bones to make soup.
Alternatively we could aim the charm at any of our charmless government ministers. You never know, the Anglo-Saxon spirit may still have some potency. I'll point it at Cameron first - simply for the pleasure of watching him shrink as muck in the wall .
Wen, wen, little wen,
Here thou shalt not build, nor have any abode,
But thou must pass forth to the hill hard by,
Where thou hast a brother in misery.
He shall lay a leaf at thy head.
Under the foot of the wolf, under the wing of the eagle,
Under the claw of the eagle, ever mayest thou fade.
Shrivel as coal on the hearth,
Shrink as muck in the wall,
And waste away like the water in a bucket.
Become as small as a grain of linseed,
And far smaller also than a hand-worm’s hip-bone,
And become even so small that thou become naught.
Translated by R K Gordon.