Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Monthly horoscope - Virgo

Virgo (August 23- September 22)

Magical birthstone - shale.
Lucky marsupial    - wombat.
Auspicious month  - Octember

As your magical birthstone is shale, you Virgos never quite manage to have things all your own way, as I'm afraid you are bound to find out this month. With Mercury nipping in and out of the ninth octant, things are a little tricky all the way through, although there are some bright spots to look forward to, especially in connection with recently liberated prestige toasters.

Next Thursday is a date for your calendar too, because this is Chocolate Day, or at least something dark, or brown, or sticky. Can't be sure - sorry about that - tread carefully.

Later in the month you may receive a letter from the council explaining why climate change is entirely your fault and the UN wants to know what on earth (or more likely What On Earth) you propose to do about it. Virgos you see are not terribly green and you know perfectly well all that alcohol you are distilling in the shed has nothing to do with biofuels and saving the planet. Drink it quickly and quietly with a little fresh orange juice is what the stars advise, but that's what they always say in my limited experience.

In a few weeks you may well have the urge to start a new hobby such as holistic leaping, soap sculpture or putting together a nice collection of vintage Formica. It's a sign of something, but the stars seem to have no idea what so don't get too excited.


James Higham said...

Wish you'd do the horoscopes for the newspapers.

Demetrius said...

But is it a good month to go fracking I ask. Or is that a sticky question?

A K Haart said...

JH - the stars tell me it's not going to happen, but what do they know?

D - it's sticky, tricky and explosive all at the same time.