The 2015 election

I usually manage to squeeze a drop of excitement out of general elections but this year the well is pretty dry. In the past I’ve stayed up into the early hours to catch the emerging trends but I can’t see me doing that again. Unless UKIP seems likely to kick the whole decrepit system up the arse perhaps.

Dave, Nick and Ed soured it for me – especially after that interminable dose of Blair and Brown. Now it's as if some dreary committee selected our leaders with the sole intention of sucking away the last few drops of sour juice from our ailing democracy. It’s as if their bland and devious idiocy was designed to bore us into a state of catatonic assent.

Well it certainly worked with me.

Dave is as slippery as a buttered eel and Ed hasn’t even noticed how the climate game was rigged by the UN. Nick is a substandard Lib Dem - which is an achievement I suppose.

I’m so bored with ultra careful politically correct posturing that I’d welcome some real talk, some character and passion even if I don’t agree with it. Strewth – we are supposed to be civilised adults. Surely we may disagree without our world falling apart.

A less xenophilic narrative perhaps. Less of the servile abasement before politically active minorities. More robustness and a less supine attitude to faux outrage. Even a willingness to promote outrage, a desire to explore what people actually think. Democracy even. Gosh – what an idea.

As a topical example, many folk must be uncomfortable with Islam taking root in this country. I’m not particularly concerned but some obviously are, so we should say so instead of allowing their views to seep underground. Surely we can be robustly civilised about these things?

A little more patriotism would be welcome too. Not flag-waving jingoism nor empty politically correct sentiment, but something that does at least acknowledge our need to belong, to have a collective history, to have a reason to put down roots when having roots is the preferred way of life.

Unfortunately there are numerous issues where the official narrative swamps the debate, where fears about social trends and anxieties about the future are not heard because the chattering classes don’t think they should be heard.

Yet from cosy arrangements with major corporations to public sector waste to conflicts of interest and outright corruption, from political lies to vote-rigging to gerrymandering, from excessive legislation to undermining family life, from endless official nagging to fake charities to stolen tax revenues there is much to debate.

We won’t hear much genuine debate in this election though. Probably even less in the one that follows.