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Monday, 23 December 2013

No free massage Cameron says

Prime Minister David Cameron (47) has waded into a political minefield by insisting that the coalition government will not allow migrants from Eastern Europe to claim free massages from local authority welfare services.

My government intends to stand firm on this issue. I will not allow the British people to be dictated to on the matter of free massages for migrants he stated recently.

Meanwhile, Business Secretary Vince Cable (70) has caused something of a furore by claiming that the coalition government actually has no power to deny free massages to EU migrants – or any other personal services for that matter. In a recent interview Mr Cable said :-

Migrants from Eastern Europe will get their massage entitlement I’m pleased to say. The government has no mandate and more importantly, no moral right to deprive EU citizens of their lawful massage

A number of international charities such as Massage Rights and the Green Massage Agenda have been criticising Mr Cameron’s stance for some time. Massage Rights chief executive Lily “soft hands” de Rigueur said :-

This is a red line issue for us – Cameron won’t get away with wholesale destruction of social massaging. The massage-poor have been with us for far too long and it’s time for reform. Society is ready for it. Cameron is just like Old King Cole trying to hold back the tide of massage reform.

6 comments:

Sam Vega said...

Does this story have a happy ending?

Sackerson said...

I thought the PM's Christmas Massage would be broadcast after the turkey meal?

A K Haart said...

Sam - only if Cameron turns out to be a tosser.

Sackers - well that would leave us with a turkey after turkey which is surely too much gobbling for anyone.

Scrobs... said...

Well, they poke their noses in everywhere, so I suppose a few well-aimed patter-cakes with their fickle fingers of fate wouldn't go amiss either...

Happy Christmas Mr H - your posts are required reading each day!

Demetrius said...

But Cameron does have a very hands on approach to being Prime Minister, there's the rub.

A K Haart said...

Scrobs - thanks and a very merry Christmas to you too.

Demetrius - he certainly claims personal involvement at every opportunity.