The other day was cold so I wore my hat while tootling
around town. It was also quite windy and a sudden gust blew my hat off, sending
it rolling merrily down the pavement and into the road, tumbling along at a far
greater rate than I could hope to achieve in hot pursuit. Well - lukewarm
pursuit.
As it sat there in the road a bus swerved round it, a car
missed it but inevitably the following car ran over it. Third time unlucky –
that’s the rule isn’t it?
I managed to nip into the road to retrieve what I assumed
would be a ruined piece of headgear. To my surprise I easily knocked it back
into shape and close inspection revealed the startling fact that it was as good
as new. Not a mark on it. I’ll be more careful next time, but these little
incidents strengthen the bond between a chap and his hat.
While we’re adjacent to the subject of heads - was Nick
Clegg awarded a knighthood so Her Majesty can get close to him with a drawn
sword?
6 comments:
No doubt it was a Tilley hat, judging from your mini-snapshot. Got one myself. Not that cheap, £80 or so, but we’re worth it. And we can afford it. Plus, it does wonders for that deeply irritating male pattern baldness thingy. Even more plus, you can look a bit like a cowboy, sort of. Even talk and walk like one, though that’s probably best done at home, I find. You lookin’ at me, punk?...Try this steely Burt Lancaster gaze for size, and tremble. But, as ever I digress...
They are actually remarkably durable. Seems they’ve been washed overboard around the Roaring Forties and pitched up near the North Pole, or somewhere, not that much worse for wear. Whilst no doubt pondering way more weighty stuff and thus pardonably having forgotten to tie the stupid bloody laces, I recently suffered a similar indignity on a gusty day down here when crossing the bridge over our very own little shit creek. Much to the apparent amusement of the local ignorati. Thank goodness for a trusty and hardy dog with a sense of loyalty, fun and adventure who didn’t need that much urging, beyond an encouragingly forceful kick up the rear. Bung it in the grossly expensive Miele (the hat that is) and more or less good as new!
As for Nick Clegg, I fear he will die armoured in ignorance, replete with unearned money, unfunded pensions and entirely undeserved respect, immune from all petty sniping, released from a life that never, ever, remotely knew want. The only people that will mordantly note his passing will be clear eyed and unforgiving souls like me; and maybe just possibly that disabled ex-wife of Paul McCartney’s, the one that was always in the news a few years back. And the only reason she will be so relieved is just that the merest mention of his very name gives her the most unaccountable shudders…
Whoever said life was fair?
Just goes to show how crap cars are today.
Bah, Homburg!
Senora O'Blene will be wearing her Tilley hat in about two hours time for our regular visit to the grocers. It's absolutely pouring with rain here, but I think I will today go for the same sort of 'laird' headgear as worn by Geoffrey Fairbrother in 'Hi de Hi', when they hide the tractor with hilarious results...
One needs to plan ahead where hats are concerned, and I'm glad your retrieval was a total success! Too often these days, people just say 'oh sod it' and leave it in the road!
Kathleen Ferrier. "I have a bonnet trimmed with blue", a grand mother was a bonnet maker.
I fear my panama would not have merited resurrection . . .
Clacket - I have a Tilley but this was my fedora and almost as expensive as the Tilley which is why I darted into the road hoping it might be worth salvaging. If I'd been wearing the Tilley I'd have used the wind cords.
Sam - it's those big fat tyres. A bike with skinny tyres would probably have done more damage.
Scrobs - one does indeed need to plan ahead with hats and I failed because I knew it was going to be windy.
Demetrius - I bet those bonnets had useful ribbons to tie under the chin.
DCB - I've never worn one although I'm tempted to get one for all that sunny weather the global warming crowd tell us to expect.
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