Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Introducing the π-Box

The π-Box

Ed Davey, the Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change has a new climate gizmo all ready to present to the world after Easter.

Called the π-Box, it promises to change the way we think about the vexed question of personal insulation. We will all need more personal insulation if global warming causes increased snowfall as predicted by top climate scientists. 

Essentially, Mr Davey's Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC) propose to extend home insulation schemes to real people as well as bricks and mortar. How will this exciting and innovative idea work?

Well first of all, Mr Davey points out:-

Purely as a matter of practicalities, it is far more efficient to insulate people rather than their homes. Even well-insulated homes have all kinds of energy losses because of doors for example. So although we have given serious consideration to eliminating exterior doors from new-build housing, a much simpler and more immediate idea is the π-Box.

So what is the π-Box?

"The π-Box is what we originally called the pi-Box which stands for personal insulation box," said Mr Davey. "It was conceptified by our Nu Solutions Forum held in January here at DECC. A brilliant project team has ramped us up to prototype phasing in only three months."

The DECC marketing summary says:- 

The π-Box is superficially similar to the familiar cardboard box often favoured by homeless people. Made from recycled industrial waste, it has remarkable insulating properties.

A computer-controlled, advanced high-tech moulding and forming process shapes the innovative material to  create a human-shaped insulated π-Box in which people can just chill out, or enjoy a quiet nap. Or they may use it to grab some time of their own without any risk of getting cold even in the most severe winter.

Sounds great - how much will the π-Box cost.

"Well that's the beauty of the scheme," enthused Mr Davey. "Because the π-Box is one hundred percent green, planet-friendly, low carbon and made entirely from recycled waste, we are able to announce today that π-Box will be absolutely free of charge to a significant section of qualifying users thanks to generous funding streamed from  the EU GreenLife Programme.

I can't wait to try it out.


Sackerson said...

We had jumpers in the 1970s.

Anonymous said...

Does AK have a wicked sense of humour?

A K Haart said...

Sackers - but were they recycled?

Roger - odd maybe.

Sackerson said...

AK: Maybe you're too young to remember jumpers knitted out of the unravelled wool from old ones.

Angus Dei said...

Being the pi box does that mean it comes in steak and kidney flavour or is the thing bloody endless (I remember recycled jumpers:) )

A K Haart said...

Sackers - ah, I'd forgotten that. I certainly remember it being done, but I'm not sure if my mother did it, although she certainly had to be frugal that way.

Angus - it's more likely to be horse and kidney flavoured, because these are value boxes for we plebs. In future, the really posh ones will be called houses (:

James Higham said...

The π-Box is superficially similar to the familiar cardboard box often favoured by homeless people.

LOL - comedy corner out there.

A K Haart said...

James - (: