Thursday, 23 June 2011

Monthly horoscope – Cancer

Cancer - (22 June-22 July)

With Pluto barging into the fifth lunar quadrant and Venus trolling around with Saturn and Jupiter, there isn’t much to look forward to over the coming month as far as Cancerians are concerned. And they should be concerned, but life goes on as they say.

On Tuesday you are accosted by a man wearing yellow gloves and a false hat. He’ll talk to you about Nostradamus or broadband speeds, but either way he’s best ignored. He isn’t your cousin either, although he might claim to be.

We’ll skip the matching pitbulls with rhinestone collars, so apart from the minor explosions, the next thing to look out for is the letter from David Cameron next Thursday where he demands your bank account details. In the letter, which will look quite official, he’ll claim you are personally responsible for the Greek debt and need to own up to your responsibilities. Don’t worry, it’s only a circular. Sit tight and the man will go away, although not for some time obviously, as all Cancerians will find to their cost.

A few surprised indicated for the following weekend, but nothing a large bucket of hot, soapy water can’t sort out. Not too hot though, eh?


Electro-Kevin said...

I reckon we'll cop the bail out.

They won't allow the Euro to fail.

Demetrius said...

A little while back I read an item about how the passage of time has shifted our dating out of phases with the original signs of the zodiac so it now needs redating. Personally, I stick with the Chinese system and this makes me a Rat.

A K Haart said...

EK - I think you are right. I'm no economist but I think failure should usually be allowed to happen.

D - I'm an Ox under the Chinese system. Fits me quite well.