Steel Nut

Conker World Championships embroiled in cheating scandal after steel dummy found in winner’s pocket

The Conker World Championships has been embroiled in a cheating scandal after the winner of the tournament was discovered with a steel decoy in his pocket.

Known as “King Conker”, David Jakins secured the 2024 men’s competition title at the international event in Southwick, Northamptonshire, this weekend...

After the competition, the retired engineer was found to have a steel dummy, shaped and painted to look like a real conker and threaded on identical lace.

Reminds me of the time when my conker was obliterated by an opponent who surreptitiously slipped a large steel nut onto his conker string as he drew it back for a strike. He was so proud of the idea that he showed me what he'd done afterwards.

This was a long time ago. 

To get them back to work

Unemployed to be given weight-loss jabs to ‘get them back to work’

Wes Streeting, the Health Secretary, has said the new class of medication could have a “monumental” impact on obesity and getting Britain working.

Mr Streeting has announced a £280million investment from Lilly, the world’s largest pharmaceutical company, in developing new medicines and ways to deliver treatment. The plans will include the first real-world trial of the drugs’ effect on worklessness, productivity and reliance on the NHS.

Ah, a real-world trial to see the drug's effect on worklessness, productivity and reliance on the NHS. Jabbed back to work we might say, so presumably faith in the Nudge Unit approach is waning. 

Sounds like another poisoned chalice, Wes Streeting being the lucky recipient.

Setting up the structures

Ex-Google boss warns Starmer UK will fail to meet 2030 clean energy goal without fixing regulation

Eric Schmidt, Google's former chief executive officer, said he believes Sir Keir can speed up regulation bureaucracy to ensure the government reaches its goal of decarbonising electricity by 2030.

But he said regulation is currently "killing you"...

Sir Keir agreed the speed at which decisions get signed off "is a really big challenge".

He said: "It has to be a cross-government priority, not just within the Treasury team. It's going to be across government.

"So we are setting up some of the structures that will do this.

Ah, when confronted with the need to reduce regulation, the Starmer approach is to be busy "setting up some of the structures that will do this." I'm not a betting chap, but I reckon the odds are that this notion will lead to more regulation not less.

Fortunately and whatever a "goal of decarbonising electricity by 2030" is supposed to be, Starmer's approach seems likely to slow it down.

Good.

Chichester Anti-Recreation Partnership

 

Career moves

One thing Keir Starmer does appear to be teaching us, is that Director of Public Prosecutions cannot be the pinnacle of a legal career. Not a booby prize perhaps, more of a consolation prize for those who didn't quite make it. Like being awarded a knighthood for nothing in particular.

The Labour Party seems to have been under the impression that DPP meant more than that, but now they know better.

Business

Business secretary refuses to say why Elon Musk not invited to key investment summit.

Elon Musk was very critical of the government over the handling of the riots in the summer.

Moving on to other business

The politics of least horrible option

Tories cannot win elections with Badenoch or Jenrick, warns Britain’s top pollster John Curtice

Britain’s top pollster has warned that the Conservatives cannot win whether Robert Jenrick or Kemi Badenoch ends up winning the Tory leadership contest.

Professor Sir John Curtice described the pair, battling it out in the last stage of the race to succeed Rishi Sunak, as “unknown quantities” who do not have what it takes to turn the party’s fortunes around.

We appear to have made a decisive move from political parties aiming to win elections to a strategy of presenting themselves as the least horrible option. 

At the moment, the door appears to be open to any leader capable of competing with Keir Starmer in the politics of least horrible option. It's not a high bar.