What could happen if the whole world managed to screw up enough ethical courage to admit what everyone should already know – the Piltdown Climate Monster is not entirely kosher?
There has been no global warming for about sixteen years - a necessary and sufficient reason to kick the mangy beast into the long grass. After all, we want to build a rational world for future generations don’t we? Much better than covering the country with windmills surely?
Or do we really want that rational world? What would happen if our political class, the BBC, the IPCC and prominent climate scientists were to kill off the Climate Monster and bury the great green slob to a massed beating of chests and rousing chorus of mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa?
What it they were to admit the whole thing has been a scientific shambles of epic proportions – lessons learned, never to be repeated, cross our hearts and hope to die?
Good news or bad?
I’m not sure. We congregate around myths – have done for thousands of years. Many folk seem to see a secular world as a Good Thing, but does it have one or two tiny little weaknesses? Such as killing unborn babies by the million?
So maybe myths are important due to the moral stability they impart and their literal truth is secondary. Ghastly as the possibility may be, this could even apply to the Climate Monster even if it isn’t remotely possible to see how. Perhaps the Climate Monster is too big to bury because the social and political fallout would be far worse than we might assume from our cosy secular bubble.
So which is worse? More Climate Monster and ever more useless windmills or a public admission of the most outrageous scientific disaster in human history? Where even the word disaster is a preposterously lenient euphemism.
Hmm... Perhaps the Climate Monster could be phased out gradually like an ageing Hollywood star – say over a few more addled decades. No - on reflection we should tell it as it is and suffer the consequences.
After all there will be consequences anyway if the real climate doesn’t feed the Monster soon.