Monday, 24 August 2015


Dear Golden Roof Investor,

You may have heard that the Chinese stock market has undergone a minor bout of turbulence in recent days. This is to be expected in such an exciting, where-it’s-at market and is not a cause for alarm for anyone with the Golden Roof Investment Trust.

Although the whereabouts of our CEO Mr Wun Awei has been the subject of much scurrilous press comment, be assured that he is diligently seeking new opportunities. We intend to contact him in the very near future to discuss these opportunities plus a range of other options he may wish to consider.

Meanwhile, our advice for all investors in the Golden Roof Investment Trust is to sit tight while current disturbances are brought firmly under control by the Chinese authorities.

In addition to this exiting news, you may be interested in a new investment opportunity, the Platinum Roof Investment Trust for which you should already have a prospectus. Remember - you take the risk so we don't have to.

Yours sincerely

Richard Dastardly (Acting CEO)


graham wood said...

Dear Mr Dastardly. Phew and thank - you! I'm so reassured that my £120 thousand investment is safe and sound with you after all

Mark Wadsworth said...

Surely "Platinum Roof Asset Trust"? WHy not let your acronym insult the intelligence of your investors?

A K Haart said...

Graham - how about our new Brooklyn Bridge Investment?

Mark - curses, a missed opportunity.

Demetrius said...

I trust that the ever reliable Mr. Muttley is still the Finance and Investment Director?

A K Haart said...

Demetrius - he's the only level-headed chap they have.