Unstringed oppression

Radical puppeteers have been protesting outside the Palace of Westminster at what they see as discrimination against puppets. They are particularly incensed that so few puppets ever become MPs. Leading advocate of puppet rights, Fran Tykke said -

Puppets can be entertaining, witty and full of good ideas so there is no good reason why antiquated prejudice should exclude them from Parliament. As ever our puppets have to battle against the oppression of the unstringed and quite frankly they are tired of it.

Opponents of puppet rights have pointed out that strings could present a number of practical problems in both the House of Commons and the House of Lords. They could become tangled and unstringed members of both house could easily become caught up in them especially after a long lunch. But Fran Tykke will have none of it.

Look at Philip Hammond, he manages just fine. People hardly notice his strings because only a few people even mention them.

When it is pointed out that Mr Hammond isn’t actually a puppet Ms Tykke simply laughs in disbelief, shaking her head so violently that a small flake of paint becomes detached and floats gently to the ground.