One of my favourite types of blog post is the lucid rant. It’s
where a blogger seems to build up a head of steam and all of a sudden out comes
a real, rasping snorter of a rant. Purple prose in full-on vituperation mode. I love it. Lucid, straight to the point, uninhibited and
profoundly satisfying.
A good rant makes my day.
A good rant makes my day.
It’s not something I do myself, because I think to do it well
you need the invective arts of Auberon Waugh and, let’s be honest here, a light sprinkling
of well-placed f-words sometimes does no harm too.
Rants seem to be triggered when a particularly ludicrous bit
of news floats to the surface. It's usually something to do with the scumbags we elected instead of a proper government. Something which makes you think:-
I wonder what (insert blog of choice) will make of that? Time to do the rounds.
I wonder what (insert blog of choice) will make of that? Time to do the rounds.
When a particularly good bit of outrageous absurdity pops up, I sniff the internet air and off I go on the
delicious scent of a really good rant, because there is always one to be found.
In the old, pre-web days this was nigh on impossible,
because where would you look? Okay there were always mildly cynical and
sarcastic magazines such as Private Eye and possibly a few waspish journalists
in mainstream print journalism, but it was all a little tame compared to the
present.
Because I really do see a need for vituperation – a good
solid dose of it is healthy and cathartic. If stupidity and cupidity had been
vanquished then maybe things would be different. Maybe we could settle down and have a go at being civilized.
Maybe.
I've been reducing the frequency of my rants as it always seems like preaching to the converted although offending the odd sensitive liberal passerby is a bonus.
ReplyDeleteHere's a rant. A friend is going abroad on hols, trots along to the quack's and fills out travel vaccines form. Is advised to get a typhoid jab - snag, no typhoid jabs in stock. So when asks friend - Oh, sometime in next year declares surgery pharmacist. But here is the number for "A Private Clinic". So can I get it done here and pay says friend - Oh no comes answer.
ReplyDeleteSo then friend rings local branch of well known chemists for the oral vaccine option, selects 'Pharmacy Team' and ring ring ring ring ring ring ' your call is important to us' ring ring ring ring ring ring etc etc. Friend loses will to live and jumps on plane anyway. Friend declares 'if I get typhoid I will get to that bl*&dy surgery and cough and spew over everyone if it's the last thing I do'.
Now once upon a time this sort of thing was sorted out with no trouble at all, now it is like living in a third-world country - worse, in a third world country at least the medics have an excuse for being unable to help.
There is a Wikipedia entry on Ranters re the Civil War era of the 17th Century. What a pity they never became the Established Church.
ReplyDeleteThud - it is preaching to the converted, but we still enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteRoger - yes, that's a good rant.
"Your call is important to us. So important we're not answering it."
Demetrius - it would certainly have made "Songs of Praise" a little different, especially the nudity.
Ranting's good but only if the guy knows his stuff.
ReplyDeleteJames - true.
ReplyDeleteJust done one AK:)
ReplyDeleteAngus - just read it and replied (:
ReplyDelete