Pages

Sunday 17 December 2017

Frantic festive flashers


Round here lots of houses have strings of Christmas lights in their gardens, festooned on trees, draped around windows, under the guttering or anywhere else which might occur to the festive mind.

As usual some of them flash on and off at high speed like maniacal disco lights instead of twinkling sedately. Any possible Christmassy effect is lost in the hypnotic mechanical flashing. Almost as if they are designed to attract attention rather than create a seasonal ambience. I suppose that’s what flashing is all about anyway.

8 comments:

Sam Vega said...

I try to console myself by contemplating their likely electricity bill in January. Failing that, I might go out tonight with a pair of wire-cutters.

Clacket said...

Uncannily, whilst earlier walking with the gloriously muddy dog back from the bleak marshes through the darkening town, I’d just thought much the same.

I’m prepared to forgive, as if they gave a fig, the static (please, preferably not multi-coloured) display. And even a delicate twinkle of understated white light might indeed put one in mind of the greater twinkling of actual distant stars peeking through the smog and pollution. And just maybe a further symbolic leap to the star of Bethlehem for the overly impressionable. Presumably that is its ‘resonator’.

Though strangely but notably there does seem to be less display down this way this year, I’d say; no doubt thanks to years of Tory austerity taking their toll and the uncertainty surrounding Brexit.

I have sort of noticed out of the vaguely watchful corner of my eye that, in a minor yet incrementally spirit sapping way, the ever-kindly BBC has for some time been at some pains to point out that the following turgid programme may contain flashing images; flashing which, I’m guessing, just may reduce the potentially susceptible epileptics in the audience to the same kind of frothing incoherent tongue biting frenzy that I actually feel from being exposed to the warning itself. In fairness, I can’t imagine being exposed to such stridently nasty seasonally merry ‘it’s just for the kiddies you killjoy’ lights for maybe a month or more without needing to commit some sort of despicable crime. And feeling pretty much okay about it, in the circs.

Interestingly, one of the enduringly great black and white ‘film-noir’ motifs to suggest ‘low rent seediness’ was always the desolate endlessly flashing neon sign. You must have seen movies like that. Citizen Kane, I think, just for example.

I don’t take Sam’s point about the annoying and inconsiderate exhibitionist’s leccy bill. Sadly, these are LEDs, cheap as chips. People, if they really want to get into the authentic spirit of relatively recent Christmas Past, should emulate my Nan. Back then, fairy lights ran off mains voltage with dubiously taped connections to a resinous tree running from some kind of adaptor plugged into the ceiling rose. Along with the iron. No hint of an earth wire. Well, we weren’t all of us burned to a frazzle in our sleep; can’t say it did us any harm! Kind of proves my point, I think! ...I think.

Demetrius said...

It is the seasonal "look at me" thing.

wiggiatlarge said...

And to think I was within moments of ordering a 6ft illuminated snowman for the front garden when the wife put a block on it, such a spoilsport !

Anonymous said...

I am in two minds about large scale decorations. I quite like them but not too near my abode. They seem slightly common but on the other hand show a certain lively spirit that makes me feel a bit of a misery only having fairly subdued decorations.

A K Haart said...

Sam - before you get going with the wire-cutters you may need to think of a social justice aspect - just in case.

Clacket - an image of your Nan's adaptor plugged into the ceiling rose reminds me of something similar but I can't quite place it. I'm sure I recall the ironing being done like that in a school friend's house.

Demetrius - it is but it's so common we don't really look at all.

Wiggia - only 6ft? Time to think big and dominate the whole area.

Roger - we are like that. We put a tiny token effort in the front window last night in case everyone thinks we are miserable sods. Probably confirmed the impression by doing that though.

wiggiatlarge said...

A K H , your comment on Clackets adapter is spot on, I saw that done many times in those distant days, it had the result of keeping the flex out of the way when ironing, like this woman in an ironing "factory".

https://d2v9y0dukr6mq2.cloudfront.net/video/thumbnail/wLREGNi/woman-seamstress-iron-an-iron-fabric-at-a-garment-factory_ed3x71yde__S0007.jpg

A K Haart said...

Wiggia - I'm sure I've seen it in old films too.