Pages

Sunday, 1 November 2015

A sweep's tale

Last spring I was chatting with our chimney sweep about wood burners and he told me a story about one of his customers. It’s always worth listening to tales about customers as you probably know,

Anyhow, our sweep told me of an old chap, by which I assume he meant someone even older than I am, who loves his wood burner and every year the chimney sweep sweeps his chimney and installs a brand new wood burner...

Yer what?

Yes, every year the customer has a brand new Clearview wood burner because the old one is knackered. He runs the burner at such a high temperature that the flue pipe glows red, the glass cracks, the body of the wood burner becomes distorted. How the hell he does it I don’t know but he must get through a deal of wood and Clearview stoves are not cheap .

So not only is the wood burner knackered each year, but there are a few cracked glasses to replace too. Of course the sweep warns him about chimney fires and repeatedly suggests the obvious remedy but to no effect.

People are odd aren’t they? Once a habit sets it, that’s it.

9 comments:

Sackerson said...

Perhaps he cooks on it.

A K Haart said...

Sackers - apparently not, he just likes it hot.

Michael said...

An interesting point you make, Mr H.

We have just one open fire, as Mrs Scroblene likes the crackle and sparks of an open fire, and who am I to argue!

A well-built wood burner should really be for life, as the idea is that you feed it with a log every now and then, and keep it happy. I'd like to have one installed, but Mrs Scroblene has decided otherwise, so we cope with what we have.

The idea of having a new one each year astonishes me, but so what, I'm only a humble Scrobs...

Sam Vega said...

Mine came with a warning in the owner's manual to not run it too hot or the stove would glow red and distort, but like you I've no idea how you would do that. Apart from the obvious drawbacks (!) running them too hot detracts from the pleasure. It's all about man's (sexism intended) mastery over fire, parsimoniously feeding it at just the right rate, and endlessly fussing. Other men have steam engines or smoke pipes.

Having recently moved, I'm really missing mine. I hope the tenants know what they're doing. I hate to think of them running it too hot...

Thud said...

I wish mine would glow red!

Demetrius said...

It is near fifty years since we had a stove or open fire. I have not missed it at all and have stayed warm.

Derek said...

A home without a real fire is less of a home. Our house is dead without the Rayburn lit. We had a vintage French stove (Deville) in the lounge until the 'Estate' (we're tenants) started seeking requirements for compliance and certification, so out it has come. The wife loves seeing an open fire and is better than watching Tele, but we are now burning more fuel per therm into the room, re-introduced draughts, and losing warmth up the chimney. Electric? No thanks. The Frenchie kept the chimney breast warm upstairs and down - more heat into the upstairs - but far less with an open fire. This is progress?

A new stove every year ? ! ? The Frenchie has been going for the last sixty plus!

A K Haart said...

Scrobs - an open fire is probably more appealing than a wood burner but much less efficient.

Sam - yes, endlessly fussing is enjoyable, especially when everything is just right and whatever you do the burner works smoothly.

Demetrius - ah but thing of that crackling glow and gazing at it through a tot of something.

Derek - oh dear, compliance and certification, what a world we've made.

A K Haart said...

Thud - your what?