Thursday, 16 April 2015

Puppy power


The political temperature seems to rise and rise again as each party scrabbles for votes. Ed Balls is an angry man, he recently slammed David Cameron’s plan to give a puppy to every family on minimum wage.

“This is yet another example of the Tories shamelessly stealing our policies and presenting them as their own,” said a furious Mr Balls in a TV interview.

“As everyone knows, we have already pledged to give a goldfish to low income families,” he added. “It is a much more practical idea than puppies. For a start, goldfish emit far less greenhouse gas than puppies - adorable though puppies are of course. But we are thinking of the environment while the Tories are just desperate for votes.”

Nick Clegg of the Lib Dems has declined to enter the fray even though his party is committed to giving out a million free ant colonies, one to each child who correctly guesses what Mr Clegg will do after the election.

UKIP have sensibly steered well clear of this particular hot potato, but the most vociferous critic of all is Natalie Bennett of the Greens. Her party originally intended to present all new members with a packet of grass seed to grow their own lifestyle.

Unfortunately many Green party members misunderstood the scheme and have been cancelling their membership in order to rejoin and claim their free grass seed. Sadly the scheme had to be abandoned.

No comments: